Boys and early learning

I've been thinking again about differences between how young boys and young girls learn, and how these differences affect how we schedule our lives. There is still that questions of what is 'nature' versus 'nurture'. For example, our boys are extremely active. There is never a day that we do not go out for a walk, and on most days we have two walks one of which will be at least three miles long. If we don't have this level of activity, the boys seem to struggle to focus, there is a deterioration in standards of discipline and obedience, and things are just generally difficult. But is that because we have trained them to need this amount of time out of doors being active, or is it because they have a genuine biological need? And does that question really matter anyway?

Reading around the area, I've found some interesting evidence on how brain structure and activity differs between the sexes. This article is really useful. A PET scan is Positron Emission Tomography - it is used to determine which parts of the brain are most active during different tasks. So you could put a child in the scanner, and ask them to complete a verbal task and watch which parts of the brain light up. It is a relatively new technique and seems to be shedding a lot of genuine biological light into what parents and teachers have recognised for generations. Based on these, and other findings, leads some to recommend that schools educate boys and girls separately for educational (rather than social) reasons.

I have often been frustrated by the numbers of my friends' boys who are given a 'label' or diagnosis, when it seems that they simply have a normal, healthy, lively child who needs to have his energies focussed and channelled. Indeed, I read somewhere (cannot remember the source right now) that 25% of primary age boys in the UK are diagnosed with some degree of Special Educational Need, such as Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder. It frustrates me especially because I can see how my own boys might risk such labels if they were expected to sit in a classroom for a whole day, with no fresh air and minimal opportunities for running around or choosing which activity they would like to focus on.

Several Home Schoolers have written helpful articles and blogs on how to bring the very best out of boys, tapping into all their talents, using their energy and creativity to enhance other subjects, and generally bringing them up to be men of the future. At 'The Encouraging Home', Mary Glendenin summarises 'must haves for homeschooling boys'. I've reached many of the same conclusions and have a similar approach in many ways, and wish I had read this post earlier. I particularly like the way she is honest about how being physical, getting grubby, being continually on the move and embracing non-traditional educational opportunities does not necessarily come naturally to her. Parenting is in many respects an act of sacrifice. It is not about 'me', about 'my needs', 'my choices', 'my preferences'. It is about using all our God-given resources to honour our calling to raise our children well in the midst of a godless generation. And I admit, that there are days when I would much rather curl up on the sofa with a massive pile of books than put on my waterproofs and go out in the freezing cold, but it is what my children need!

Once again, as I consider these things I am grateful for the choices we have made to homeschool. It is not always easy. There are days which are physically exhausting. Some days they can seem very focussed and do the more 'traditional' educational activities such as drawing, writing, being read to, playing games etc, but there are other days when they seem like unfocussed bundles of restless energy. My middle son can be particularly trying and perplexing at times - he will refuse to do things (such as writing) when he is quite capable when in the right mood, and there are other times when he cries and seems very upset and frustrated and we cannot work out why. Some days, we can see real breakthroughs and little by little he is gaining confidence. But I shudder to think of how he would be in a mainstream school without the individual attention, patience, gentleness and love that he needs.

It is often on the days that I find hardest, the days when I am tempted to think, 'I wish somebody else could step in here', or 'surely anybody could do this better than I am', that I realise that in fact these are the days when it is most important of all that we have the consistency, discipline, but also love and patience that the children need. And I do not imagine that our children are so very different from boys across the world.

I'd be interested to hear your comments about educating young boys!

Vibrant African life

So, we have had a week here, close to the equator in a bustling, lively city. It's quite different to anything I've known before - apparently 3 million people live here, and the traffic in certain parts has to be seen to be believed. There is rarely silence, and one can barely hear the ciccadas at night because of the music blaring from all directions. Yet it is Africa, and more importantly, it is where we believe God wants our family to be right now.

Some highlights:

1) Day 1: Boys rush through to the living room and pull back the curtains. 'Mummy, is that the "wings of the dawn"?' - we've been reading Psalm 139 and talking about how God is with us, wherever we are. 'If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me and your right hand will hold me fast'. Psalm 139:9-10

2) Day 1: About half an hour later. Four year old boy with magnifying glass, describing the cockroach he has discovered on the kitchen floor. 'Mummy, it has beautiful wings, with a hint of red and a hint of yellow'. Yes darling, how delightful!

3) Markets. I love the bustle, the noise, the smells, the chaos and the pleasure in a bit of gentle bartering. It's great for the children to see fresh produce and how it is not all 'perfect' in appearance, but is good and delicious. It's easy to see what is in season and the quality (and the prices) make it so very clear.

4) The National Museum. Really quite wonderful - I liked the outdoor part which had lots of different styles of banda (mud-hut) and detail about how they were constructed. There was also a section with old Rolls Royces etc which I presume belonged to some erstwhile dictators. Inside, it was more like a home-school science project, but entertaining nonetheless.

5) Delicious yummy foods that you can buy at the side of the road. In this country, there are more types of banana than any other. And many staples are made from mashed plantain or banana. It's fun to try new things.

6) The 4 year olds have started to keep a journal. We ask them to narrate to us what they have done the day before, and then to draw a picture. It's quite telling how they remember quite different things, and it will be a really good record for them to have

7) Going to church. For me, there is something so beautiful about the way you can walk into a church in a strange land, and immediately be part of a family of believers. In heaven, every tribe and tongue will sing His praises, and sometimes in a foreign land I believe one can catch a glimpse of that.

8) Resourcefulness in inventing new games. We have a patterned rug in our living room, with twelve squares. Each has a picture on it - a boat, or a bush, or butterflies. It's quite 1970s and not altogether beautiful. But the boys make up stories and jump from square to square as they move on to the next part. Lots of the stories involve adventures on the high seas and discoveries of new lands.

9) The delight in discovering new trees, flowers, birds AND INSECTS that are different to those we see in the UK. I'm amazed (but I suppose I should come to expect it as they are bright little boys) at the attention to detail that goes into their process of description and classification. Who needs books when one can go out exploring!

10) Being together as a family. I could have come for a shorter period alone. Perhaps that would have been a more typical way of going about the process (its a site visit for some studies I'm setting up, and exploring collaborations and future opportunities). But we are together, my husband has taken a month of unpaid leave, and the whole family benefits. As I often say, this is one thing we have committed to, and the whole home schooling lifestyle is ideal to maximise such opportunities.

So, a short post and the internet is not great so I won't spend time with cross-references today. I hope and pray that wherever you are, you can maximise the unique opportunities that present themselves to your family this week.

Learning Styles: a simple lesson

I've recently posted about how our children surprise us by their level of understanding of the things of God. This morning was another such example. I was running a little unprepared for a Bible study, so read the passage (Joshua chapter 8, all about the conquest of Ai) out loud whilst the boys were playing with their cars. I tried to get them to sit still for the Bible story, but to be honest, was a bit lax (in my view) and allowed them to play around me whilst I read on. However, suddenly the three year old was underneath the dining table, busily working on something. I asked what, and he explained he was setting an ambush. He then basically re-enacted the story I had just read using his toy cars. I was challenged! I had not thought he was listening, but in fact he was processing the story the whole time. This made me reflect on learning styles, and how boys in particularl can be more 'kinaesthetic', liking to fiddle or doodle rather than sitting stock still (and indeed may be mislabelled as having some form of ADHD...). I need to consider this in more detail, but today, just wanted to share an encouragement!

Homeschooling boys

Are the differences between girls and boys nature or nurture? Does it matter? Do they affect our educational choices? Or are we perpetuating stereotypes by considering the sexes differently? This is an area where my husband and I have some discussion! He tends to take the view that all children are the same, and that we as both individuals and society tend to impose stereotyped behaviours on them from an early age. I used to believe that to be the case, but now, whilst I do agree that there are these cultural and societal expectations, and whilst there will always be exceptions, that some important differences do exist!

I'll share a couple of illustrations from my experience (although you could argue that these are just further stereotypes of individuals who have been shaped through stereotyping but I'll dispense with the caveats now and just get to the point). Friends who have girls are more likely to invite me and the boys round for coffee and suggest that whilst the children play quietly, the mothers can drink coffee, chat and then pray together. What a lovely idea! I'd adore that, but I know that it just would not be possible, not with my boys at their current stage. The other weekend we went to a childrens' party which began with sitting round tables and doing lots of crafty activities involving small pieces of paper and glue; indeed my friends with girls talk about things like 'cutting and sticking', when that is not particularly something my boys enjoy doing. The afternoon got off to a difficult start for them, as they wanted to run around the hall and chase the balloons, and we ended up leaving quite soon. (You could argue that this is because I don't tend to do these type of crafts, but instead we do plenty of painting, drawing and baking which require just as much precision and concentration). But you start to get a picture. My friends' daughters enjoy a trip to the park, but don't seem to bounce off the ceilings if they do not get taken outside into the fresh air on a regular basis; conversely, the boys seem to NEED that time outside at least once, but often twice per day.

And so our lives (and education) takes its shape around these things. Structured, short activities, but I take care to intersperse the quiet, concentrating type activities with those which are more physical (for example, we will do some baking when they wake from this current nap, but I have plans for a long walk as soon as things come out of the oven!). I was interested to come across this website which specifically focusses on homeschooling boys. A couple of years ago, I would have dismissed this as stereotyping and not helpful, but I read on and indeed saw described many of the things I have come to observe in my own children. Some of the suggestions are things which I have come to do instinctively, and others will be helpful to me as our education develops over the next few years.

It is hardly a secret that mainstream education is often more unhelpful to boys. Girls tend to learn to read and write earlier, whereas boys are more prone to be labelled as having attention or educational difficulties; indeed, I read a recent report that suggested that up to 25% of primary educated boys are currently diagnosed as having some form of special educational need. Without minimising the challenges that can be introduced by genuine special needs, I cannot believe this statistic to be true. I am convinced that much of it is that young children in general, but particularly boys, do not thrive in an environment where they are made to sit inside and concentrate and be part of a large group with little individual interaction. Further difficulties are introduced when children are given an unhelpful label from an early age, as they start to see themselves as problems, or people lower their expectations. Even through secondary school, girls increasingly outperform their male counterparts, and I do not believe this to be due to an academic superiority but rather that they benefit more from the current educational 'system'.

I do think some people take the stereotypes too far. Discipline, for example, should be given to all of our children. I have known several parents laugh at the blatent and destructive disobedience of their sons, and make a comment along the line of, 'Boys, what can you do!'. I remember the very negative comments I recieved when my second child was a son. 'Now you'll have your work cut out', I was told. 'Now you'll see what life is really like'. It was generally assumed that raising boys would be far more challenging, and less rewarding, than raising girls. (These comments were unusually insensitive given that I had already had and buried a daughter, but I'll not get into that right now!)

The challenges are different! I spend far more time outside being physically active than I might do given the choice. At the end of the day, my back, legs and arms can be incredibly painful. I am physically exhausted (bearing in mind, that on the days that I 'go out to work', I run the 5Km distance there and then back again in the evening, enjoy climbing mountains for relaxation and could hardly be considered a 'couch potato'!) But it is a different kind of tiredness, and a different kind of challenge. What I have noticed quite clearly is a deterioration in the behaviour and obedience of my sons when we do not spend enough time burning off energy; so simply we need to recognise and adapt to their needs. I would hope that we all do this for all of our children. Perhaps a greater challenge would be to have a family where each child had very different needs, and there was a greater need to add balance so that they could all be met.

These days, I am interested to read articles and blogs which do indeed focus on some of the differences, and discuss ways to best educate the energetic bundles of creativity that are our sons. I hope other readers here find the recommendation helpful.

I'd be interested to know in the experiences of others, particularly those who have experience with both sons and daughters!