Two big advantages of home education are:
1) By constantly being with the children, you are able to identify and seek to correct behaviours and attitudes before these are able to develop into bigger problems
2) We can frequently draw from the Bible, which we believe to be 'God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work' (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
There are times when this does not always feel like an advantage! There are days when it feels that we spend so long working on these issues that we don't have as much time as we would like for all the educational activities we would like. There are occasions when I find myself wondering whether the children would therefore be better off in a mainstream educational establishment where there would not be so much time spent on character formation. However it does not take me long to recognise the illogical thought processes of a tired parent. It is precisely because of the days where boundaries are pushed and the boys ask for answers, explanations and sometimes just seem to be testing everything, that a parent with a Bible in hand is best equipped to speak into the situation for the highest good of the child.
Let me give a couple of illustrations from recent weeks:
1) Lying. It has been quite shocking to us, but all three of the boys have told lies recently, and have often tried to blame their brothers for their own misdemeanours. They have a good appreciation of who God is and that He is holy. Therefore often to bring conviction and confession of what truly happened, one of the key things we need to do is show the boys from the Bible just what God thinks about lying. For example:
Proverbs 6:16-19. 'There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community'. The idea that their actions are hateful to God is very shocking to the boys.
On other occasions, Hebrews 4:13 is helpful: 'Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account'. They realise that God sees and knows everything, and so that even if they are able to deceive mum and dad, they cannot hide the truth from God. That also often brings conviction.
2) Blaming others for personal sin. Along with lying comes the excuses that are made for misbehaviour: 'my brother made me do it', 'he gave it to me', 'he was doing it so I just did the same' and so on. Then I often turn to Genesis Chapter 3. The story is well known. God created the heavens and the earth, the animals and the birds and the beautiful garden of Eden and all was very good. God created Adam, and then from his rib made a 'helper suitable for him', Eve. However they were given free choice, and the one thing they were forbidden to do, to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they did. Of course they could not hide this from God, who asked 'Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?' The man said, 'The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit of the tree, and I ate it'. Then the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is this you have done?' The woman said. 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate'. The consequences are well known. The lesson I teach the boys here is that each one of us is accountable before God, and even if another person deceived you or otherwise led you astray, we are still responsible for our own actions.
3) Selfishness. All children display this - arguing over toys, wanting to be the first one to have their book of choice, wanting the yellow cup and plate (for some reason this seems to be the favourite at the moment), wanting to sit on one of our knees (I can manage two on my knee, but all three becomes tricky!) Here, I try to show them how Jesus was our perfect example - there are many many passages of the Bible that could be used here, either specific verses or illustrative stories. I always love Philippians 2: 'Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross!'
4) Sloppiness. When the boys are really engrossed in a task, they can put a large amount of time and effort into the details. We have particularly noticed this with the drawings of our eldest, and have enjoyed watching his style develop. However, there are other times when they seem content to rush through a task they don't enjoy so much, in order to get on to the 'more fun' things. We have to remind them that there are some things which are simply quite hard work and need practice - reading and writing for example. Colossians 3:23-24 speaks into this: 'Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.'
5) Unkindness. I think together with many parents, we frequently draw from Galatians 5:22: 'But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law'. But sometimes that can seem a little abstract. I find it can be more helpful to find an example of a story where somebody displayed the attribute or quality I am trying to teach the children about. Examples might be the parable of the Good Samaritan - where the Samaritan found the wounded Jew on the road and went the extra mile in terms of caring for him, slowing down his own journey, spending money on him (without the hope of having this repayed) and treating him as he himself would have wanted to be treated. Jesus said, 'in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets' Matthew 7:12.
These are just five examples which immediately spring to mind. These type of 'Bible studies' are daily occurrences in our household. On other occasions, I use the Bible to bring comfort in the face of discouragement or strength in the face of weariness (very often I am reading a passage like Isaiah 40 to them for my own benefit more than theirs, as I am feeling exhausted - but I like to explain to them what I am doing, why I have chosen that part of the Bible for the morning reading, how I then use it to pray and so forth). The Bible gives us hope when we feel that the circumstances in the world around us are so desperate (I am writing one week after the earthquake in Nepal, and after several recent reports of hundreds of migrants drowning in the Mediterranean. There is a humanitarian crisis in Syria, and several of my friends continue to work hard in the Ebola-striken regions of West Africa. The boys are starting to ask questions about things they hear on the radio, and rather than shield them from the harsh realities of life, we aim to provide a biblical lens for their understanding).We use the Bible for thanksgiving. For prioritisation. In praying for others. It is the most loved and read book in our home.
As a parent, I continue to be challenged that:
1) I must know my Bible well. If I am to be able to help the boys use it as a double-edged sword in the diverse circumstances of life, I need to listen to the Apostle Paul as he wrote to Timothy: 'Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth'. 2 Timothy 2:15. The more I am familiar with the stories and understand their application, the more I will be able to naturally apply it into our daily lives
2) My relationship with God must be fresh and living. The boys see me turn to God in weariness or in discouragement. I talk to them about how I pray, and how I use the Bible. These cannot be theoretical conversations, but rather my relationship with God should reflect to them some of the beauty of being known and loved by God.
How have you been able to use the Bible in the face of challenges this week?
Showing posts with label Worldview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worldview. Show all posts
Sunday, 3 May 2015
Sunday, 1 March 2015
Global Mission - A Task for the Whole Family
On Friday night, we were asked to lead a seminar of about 30 people on global mission - we were asked in particular to talk about how some of this is possible (and not only possible, but a great opportunity) with young children.
When considering what to cover, we decided to let the people attending set the agenda. Sitting around four tables, they created a list of what they might consider 'barriers' to overseas mission - the things that would make them reluctant to go. The list they produced as almost exactly as we anticipated, and we then went through each point in turn, looking both at the Bible, and also our own experiences of serving God overseas. Much of it may have relevance to the readers of this blog, so I will summarise the discussion here.
1) Health.
This is often top of the list. What would you do if you became seriously unwell overseas? Are there not loads of incurable tropical illnesses? How do you manage without good access to healthcare? Of course the precise answers will depend on exactly where you are and what you are doing, and also might vary depending on whether you have any pre-existing health problems to consider. But we need to remember that God is sovereign - Psalm 139 states 'All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be'; in fact, these words are engraved on my daughter's grave. God already knows what illnesses will occur. When considering risk, there tends to be an assumption that there is no risk involved in staying at home; this is a very simplistic and naive view, because illness or accident could occur at any point. This piece written by a doctor regarding response to the Ebola epidemic makes this point well. Furthermore, I believe health is one of the greatest idols of our current generation. Let me ask you, what proportion of prayer requests at your church are relating to health issues as compared to spiritual issues? Who is to say that God cannot use illness, even death, for His glory. I do not make this point lightly. When our daughter was born, we prayed that God would use her life greatly. We had many ideas and dreams about what that might look like, but we certainly did not expect that it would be through a cardiac arrest at nine weeks of age, evacuation to a South African city where we had never been and knew nobody, and death from brain injury six weeks later. However, through that time I do not think I have known greater spiritual blessing despite the human anguish. Nearby Christians heard of our situation and rallied around - we were welcomed to live with a family with five children. We were lent a car. When we could not change money, gifts were given at just the right time. But more than that amazing physical and practical provision, the gospel was clearly preached. We knew 'the peace of God that surpasses understanding' (Philippians 4:6-7). We knew a 'hope that does not disappoint us' (Romans 5:5). We knew the absolute certain reality of heaven, and that 'our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.' and that 'what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.' (2 Corinthians 4:16-17). Through conversation and many emails, we were able to clearly describe this hope and confidence to others, many of who did not know God. And at both her funeral and her memorial service, the churches were packed with people we had been praying for for many years. Even now, seven years later, people tell me of how her life impacted on their faith. Yes I look back with sadness, but without questioning that God's plan here was bigger than I had imagined.
For us, having walked through this, we know that whatever happens, God does not change. Our next child had malaria aged seven months, but recovered quickly. Our next son had some life-threatening infections and at one point was close to death - but went on to make a full recovery. In each of these situations, we have known God's comfort and strength.
2) Children
Often children and health go together - and I can only advise people to be prayerful and seek wisdom here. For example, it may well be better (if resources make it possible) to give birth in a country which has reasonable medical services. In my last pregnancy, I was admitted to hospital eight times and had I been overseas, I would have needed to return home. But many of my other thoughts regarding health are discussed above.
The second major issue with children is education. And along with education, socialisation. I believe this too to be an idol of our current generation, and I think there is a lot of misunderstanding as to what constitutes a 'good' education and what real-life 'socialisation' might actually look like. Again, I never want to be dogmatic and suggest there is a 'one size fits all' solution; that would be naive, and it is worth noting that the Bible does not speak specifically on this area. Rather we are giving guiding principles. I would encourage parents to consider what the most important thing is for their children. What are the most important lessons? I would encourage them to be creative in embracing the opportunities which present themselves in daily life - these are different, but often extremely rich in cross-cultural settings. There are many different options - for us, home education currently fulfils our goals for our children, but one could also consider local pre-schools and schools (with the advantages of learning local language and culture) - perhaps with top-up lessons at home. Or for those who are uneasy, it might be helpful to consider a very structured home education curriculum that closely follows the national curriculum of ones home country. I would challenge parents to think outside the box, to talk to several other families who had travelled with young children and to spend time considering resources and materials. Some (ie Sonlight) have been specifically developed with the missionary family in mind.
3) Finances
A huge challenge can be the need to raise appropriate financial support - and the amount required does tend to increase as the family grows. Taking the lead from pioneer missionary Hudson Taylor, many mission organisations have a 'by faith' policy, whereby missionaries must never ask specifically for finances (unless direct questions are asked of them). This has a clear Biblical precedent, but can seem intimidating to many. Again, this comes down to trust in God. I know many testimonies of those who have been down to their last penny when a donation has arrived (the story of George Mueller is particularly inspiring in this respect). Or of clinics which have run low on essential materials, only to receive an anonymous package, just in time. You might say that God has never provided for you in that way. But have you ever been in that position of need? With finance (and indeed many other resources, such as stamina, strength, faith, wisdom) God does not often give you a 'bank account' full, so that you can look to the future and see that you have accumulated enough for your hour of need! However, He does know all that is needed. Consider the model prayer of Christ: 'Give us today our daily bread' - He knows what we need, although it is important to comment that this may differ from all that we want! Read the beautiful words in Matthew 6: 25-33: '“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.'
4) Language, culture, loneliness, isolation
(And specific things, like 'lack of clean toilets' and 'lack of privacy')
These are real issues, and again, I think it would be naive to say that they are not. I do not know any overseas mission workers who have not struggled with these things at some time or other. Psalm 37 says 'Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart'. Sometimes we think that if we have a strong desire to work in a particular area, then that must be a selfish rather than God-given desire. But that is not how God works! Often He gives a specific skill or vocation to be used for His glory - that is our story, and although we have worked in Africa with a mission organisation, a lot of our work has been in secular institutes, using our clinical, research and teaching skills. God is a loving Father, not an authoritarian taskmaster. Rather,“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!' (Matthew 7:9-11) . God knows that work will be tough at times, and gives us the resources to cope in such situations. I have heard many examples of people who have been poor at languages being able to learn quickly when there was a need; this is not invariable - there are times when it proves too difficult. Advice can be taken on this - there do exist language aptitude tests which mission organisations can use to help place candidates in appropriate countries. Regarding culture-shock, this is an almost universal process of adapting to change. The stages are well described, from the initial 'honeymoon period' where everything seems exotic and fascinating, through to the disillusionment and frustration that comes after several months before (hopefully) reaching a new state of equilibrium. There are also then problems of 'reverse culture shock' on return home, and for some (I'd put ourselves into this category) we never really feel 'at home' on this earth again. This can be both good and bad, depending on how you view it!
5) Lack of a Specific 'Calling'
I think great confusion can arise at this point. What does one require as a 'calling'? It may be that you know somebody who has always clearly felt directed to serve God in a specific way in a specific place. You may know another person who clearly felt 'called' to quit their job, and do something radically different in a far corner of the earth. But I believe that both of these are less common. How does God speak? How does God guide? There are many books, sermons and other resources on this topic! (Briefly - through the Bible, prayer, Christian friendships and counsel, circumstances, desires, dreams - and yes, also at times through the supernatural). But I would say that the Bible is clear on a couple of principles: Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20). And in the words of the Apostle Paul, ' for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” (Romans 10:13-15). Many other passages speak of stewardship of our resources, and serving God with our heart, soul, mind and strength. This means using all that we have to reach out to others with the good news of salvation. The prophet Micah said, 'He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8). Often, putting all of this into practice will involve using our God-given skills in the hardest, neediest, most spiritually dark places on earth. And that is global mission.
6) More specific questions on training - Bible training, skills needed, courses required
These sometimes come up among the first questions asked, but I have put these towards the end for a reason. I believe that if you are being obedient to God, then He will guide you and direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). By the time you are seriously considering going, the specific place and task may have become clear - and if so, then the specific requirements may well be more apparent now than at the start. As mentioned above, it is highly possible that God has given you a skill or vocation already - medicine (and related fields), teaching, IT, building, project management, accountancy, art, music and many others - that God can use. Or it may be that your role is in church planting ministry - but even here, no skill you have will go to waste!
And if it really is not the right time......
God is sovereign and He guides through our circumstances too. It might be that illness, caring responsibilities, other pressures and challenges mean it is not possible for you to seriously consider going overseas to serve God at this point in your life. But you can certainly be involved in Global Mission - and if (as many readers of this blog are) you are educating your children, this is an ideal time for them also to learn. Get old of Operation World (or the children's version). Read stories of missionaries. Watch video clips teaching on global missions. Pray together. Write to missionaries that you support (and if your church does not support missionaries, ask why not!). Get a map of the world and put it on the wall where the children can reach it - show them the journeys which were made by early missionaries. Mark where 'your' missionaries are. Read the Acts of the Apostles. And you will be encouraged by the childlike passion with which these concepts are embraced.
Sunday, 22 February 2015
Priorities and worldview
I enjoyed today's sermon. It was on Psalm 73. The basic summary is that the psalmist is having a hard time, and looking around and seeing others who seem to have an easier, more comfortable life but who do not know God. At first, he is envious and a bit confused about why God should let 'bad things happen to good people', until he comes into the presence of God and sees the bigger picture. There, he is reminded that what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal. Our life here, for better or for worse, for easier or for harder, is only a small part of the bigger picture.
It was a helpful reminder. Even though I know these things, there are times when it is easy to look sideways and to covet what somebody else has - whether that be peace, or a seemingly more supportive extended family, or different opportunities, or many other things. But the amazing thing is that God knows what we need, and He knows what He is doing. Sometimes hard things do happen - illnesses, disappointments, frustrations, bereavements, loneliness, persecutions, financial uncertainty, challenges in the workplace - and God knows these things will happen. But God does not change, and often through these hardships we have to trust Him more, and focus more on the greatest things of all - not material things, not health, not status or popularity, but God Himself. I enjoyed peacefully reflecting on how good and wise God is, and on His amazing provision and faithfulness to our family through the years. (And I was able to reflect peacefully as my boys are now able to sit well through the service and to listen and learn from the sermon too - something which I am thankful for, and thankful to my husband for making this a priority from when they were tiny - our reasons for this are commented on here and here).
I particularly enjoy coming home after church and asking the boys what they have learnt. We ask them to draw something which depicts an aspect of the sermon, and it can be quite interesting to see what the different children come up with. Today we did not have time to draw as we had visitors, but it was a very helpful passage to talk through.
It has also been interesting to consider sources of encouragement and discouragement. This week I was very encouraged by some text messages from a single friend who really seems to understand why we have made the choices we have with regard to the boys education and the things which we avoid exposure to (such as television). Her housegroup had been discussing the saying 'give me a child until he is seven and I'll give you the man', attributed to St Francis Xavier, and some older ex-missionaries had adopted a lifestyle similar to ours - even years ago, seen as counter cultural and a bit odd, but spiritually so profitable. Conversely, I sometimes feel discouraged regarding our choices by people within the church - when we first returned from overseas there were quite a few negative remarks about our house (it is a perfectly well situated three bedroom house with a large kitchen, which God has blessed us with and where we've had much opportunity for hospitality). Lately, because of the stage my husband and I have reached with work, there is also a subtle indication that we would be 'expected' to change lifestyle slightly. It frustrates me because things should not be that way, but frustrates me even more because I realised this morning that I had allowed myself to be subtly influenced by these lies. So this morning's sermon was perfectly timed enabling me to re-set the compass and focus again on what we believe God has called us to. (I must also learn from this too - that it can be easy to cause another to stumble, without necessarily meaning to. And similarly, to remember that we can build up and encourage others who have very different walks of life to our own - all part of the beauty of being part of a family of believers).
So this evening, I simply want to remind you that God is good. He knows what you need. Read Matthew Chapter 6, and consider how He really does know all your needs, but that your priority is to seek to live for Him first of all, and to trust Him for the rest.
It was a helpful reminder. Even though I know these things, there are times when it is easy to look sideways and to covet what somebody else has - whether that be peace, or a seemingly more supportive extended family, or different opportunities, or many other things. But the amazing thing is that God knows what we need, and He knows what He is doing. Sometimes hard things do happen - illnesses, disappointments, frustrations, bereavements, loneliness, persecutions, financial uncertainty, challenges in the workplace - and God knows these things will happen. But God does not change, and often through these hardships we have to trust Him more, and focus more on the greatest things of all - not material things, not health, not status or popularity, but God Himself. I enjoyed peacefully reflecting on how good and wise God is, and on His amazing provision and faithfulness to our family through the years. (And I was able to reflect peacefully as my boys are now able to sit well through the service and to listen and learn from the sermon too - something which I am thankful for, and thankful to my husband for making this a priority from when they were tiny - our reasons for this are commented on here and here).
I particularly enjoy coming home after church and asking the boys what they have learnt. We ask them to draw something which depicts an aspect of the sermon, and it can be quite interesting to see what the different children come up with. Today we did not have time to draw as we had visitors, but it was a very helpful passage to talk through.
It has also been interesting to consider sources of encouragement and discouragement. This week I was very encouraged by some text messages from a single friend who really seems to understand why we have made the choices we have with regard to the boys education and the things which we avoid exposure to (such as television). Her housegroup had been discussing the saying 'give me a child until he is seven and I'll give you the man', attributed to St Francis Xavier, and some older ex-missionaries had adopted a lifestyle similar to ours - even years ago, seen as counter cultural and a bit odd, but spiritually so profitable. Conversely, I sometimes feel discouraged regarding our choices by people within the church - when we first returned from overseas there were quite a few negative remarks about our house (it is a perfectly well situated three bedroom house with a large kitchen, which God has blessed us with and where we've had much opportunity for hospitality). Lately, because of the stage my husband and I have reached with work, there is also a subtle indication that we would be 'expected' to change lifestyle slightly. It frustrates me because things should not be that way, but frustrates me even more because I realised this morning that I had allowed myself to be subtly influenced by these lies. So this morning's sermon was perfectly timed enabling me to re-set the compass and focus again on what we believe God has called us to. (I must also learn from this too - that it can be easy to cause another to stumble, without necessarily meaning to. And similarly, to remember that we can build up and encourage others who have very different walks of life to our own - all part of the beauty of being part of a family of believers).
So this evening, I simply want to remind you that God is good. He knows what you need. Read Matthew Chapter 6, and consider how He really does know all your needs, but that your priority is to seek to live for Him first of all, and to trust Him for the rest.
Sunday, 1 February 2015
Childrens' understanding of faith
And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3
Recently my five year old asked me about baptism:
'If you grow up in a home where you do not know about Jesus, and then become a Christian later, is that when you get baptised?'
I said, 'Yes'.
'So, I won't need to be baptised then?'
'No, you can be baptised when you have come to the point where you believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died for your sins, and have repented and made the decision to live for Him alone'.
'But mummy, I do believe these things. Can I be baptised now?'
'No son, we tend to wait for a while for....'
'For what mummy?'
A similar conversation has taken place during communion these past two weeks after the pastor has explained what the bread and wine are for, and how we must take care to be sure we are right in our hearts before God before taking part.
Can a five year old really understand these things? And if so, why then shouldn't they be baptised? In our situation, we want to see a bit more evidence of true change in his life. As we were discussing today, the boys are a bit more like the book of Judges - saying sorry, but then almost immediately doing the same thing. But one could argue, are not many of us like that? And it doesn't mean we are not truly saved. All of us are sinners saved by grace!
I have really been encouraged by some of these recent conversations. I have also been quite astonished at times by the way they are putting scripture with scripture. The other morning my two year old wanted to read something from Isaiah. So I chose Isaiah 43, and when it spoke about the 'voice of one crying in the desert', my five year old immediately saw the references to John the Baptist and remarked about the fulfilment of prophecies.
Today in church, the pastor spoke from Deuteronomy 6, on the importance of sharing our faith with our children and living lives which radiate the grace of God. There were many good points, but at times there seemed to be a bit of an assumption that a young child might not understand certain things. I continue to be astonished by what young children can understand, but then reflect that Jesus saw this and applauded it. Little children were welcome to Him, and He saw something beautiful in their faith.
Let me encourage you to talk about your faith with your children. Read the Bible, and explain any difficult words. Be honest that some parts are more difficult to understand. Show your children how all scripture points to Christ.
I've mentioned on several occasions the Jesse tree which we did as an advent project. The timeline is still on the wall, but the boys have pointed out that it ends with the birth of Christ. So, I am currently designing a 40 day one for Lent, on key events in the life of Christ leading up to Easter. It will again take the form of readings, activities and a timeline and I am excited to explore this project. This is one of the greatest joys of home education - that we can really fulfil Deuteronomy 6, and speak of the things of God when we sit and when we rise, when we walk by the way and during all aspects of daily life. Whilst we learn Scripture, we can cover all kinds of other areas - reading, writing, creativity, art, music, expression, acting, narration, behaviour and character development and so forth. And from what I am seeing in our eldest, there is the development of a strong Biblical worldview.
I wonder how you have been encouraged this week?
Recently my five year old asked me about baptism:
'If you grow up in a home where you do not know about Jesus, and then become a Christian later, is that when you get baptised?'
I said, 'Yes'.
'So, I won't need to be baptised then?'
'No, you can be baptised when you have come to the point where you believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died for your sins, and have repented and made the decision to live for Him alone'.
'But mummy, I do believe these things. Can I be baptised now?'
'No son, we tend to wait for a while for....'
'For what mummy?'
A similar conversation has taken place during communion these past two weeks after the pastor has explained what the bread and wine are for, and how we must take care to be sure we are right in our hearts before God before taking part.
Can a five year old really understand these things? And if so, why then shouldn't they be baptised? In our situation, we want to see a bit more evidence of true change in his life. As we were discussing today, the boys are a bit more like the book of Judges - saying sorry, but then almost immediately doing the same thing. But one could argue, are not many of us like that? And it doesn't mean we are not truly saved. All of us are sinners saved by grace!
I have really been encouraged by some of these recent conversations. I have also been quite astonished at times by the way they are putting scripture with scripture. The other morning my two year old wanted to read something from Isaiah. So I chose Isaiah 43, and when it spoke about the 'voice of one crying in the desert', my five year old immediately saw the references to John the Baptist and remarked about the fulfilment of prophecies.
Today in church, the pastor spoke from Deuteronomy 6, on the importance of sharing our faith with our children and living lives which radiate the grace of God. There were many good points, but at times there seemed to be a bit of an assumption that a young child might not understand certain things. I continue to be astonished by what young children can understand, but then reflect that Jesus saw this and applauded it. Little children were welcome to Him, and He saw something beautiful in their faith.
Let me encourage you to talk about your faith with your children. Read the Bible, and explain any difficult words. Be honest that some parts are more difficult to understand. Show your children how all scripture points to Christ.
I've mentioned on several occasions the Jesse tree which we did as an advent project. The timeline is still on the wall, but the boys have pointed out that it ends with the birth of Christ. So, I am currently designing a 40 day one for Lent, on key events in the life of Christ leading up to Easter. It will again take the form of readings, activities and a timeline and I am excited to explore this project. This is one of the greatest joys of home education - that we can really fulfil Deuteronomy 6, and speak of the things of God when we sit and when we rise, when we walk by the way and during all aspects of daily life. Whilst we learn Scripture, we can cover all kinds of other areas - reading, writing, creativity, art, music, expression, acting, narration, behaviour and character development and so forth. And from what I am seeing in our eldest, there is the development of a strong Biblical worldview.
I wonder how you have been encouraged this week?
Sunday, 25 January 2015
Building a Biblical Worldview
I like to read Christian blogs, particularly those on Christian parenting and education. I often find encouragement in seeing how other families approach challenges, and come away inspired. This week, I have come away quite challenged!
I came across a post entitled, '65 apologetics questions every Christian parent needs to learn to answer' - take a look, and see how you fare! I think I could do more than half without having to think too hard, but there were some, particularly some of the ones relating to creation and the different viewpoints, that I knew less about. By profession, I am a scientist, but in my faith, there are some areas where I am content to simply accept that God is greater than anything than we can understand and find no need to really grapple or be able to present the arguments for and against different perspectives. So I believe that God being God, of course the world could be created in 6 literal days. And God being God, it is hardly surprising to me that the best scientists have not been able to fully explain some of the apparent contradictions in evidence that they find. However, whilst that may be the most appropriate response in my personal faith, I am raising children who ask many questions. I realise that it is indeed important for me to be familiar with these apologetics issues, not so much for my own faith, but to help those who come to me with questions. The great thing is the number of helpful resources available - the blog I have referred to above has many detailed posts on numerous topics - the writer reads extensively as she seeks to address the questions in her own mind, and shares her insights. There are many other links presented such as Answers in Genesis. I resolve to spend more time considering these things.
At the same time, I came across a cautionary tale of a woman who had been raised in a fundamentalist Christian home, yet had 'converted' to athiesm as a young adult. The argument given was that she had been raised to believe, almost without questioning, the young earth creationist perspective and that all of Christianity stemmed from that; so when she encountered scientific argument that challenged her view on creation, her whole worldview crumbled. This underpinned to me the importance of being aware of both sides of the argument, and being able to prepare the children for the inevitable challenges of living in a society and age where Biblical truth is often scorned.
A great advantage of home education is that we can filter what our children read, hear or watch; but it would be naive to think that this will shield them from the influences of the world around them. Indeed, many choose to home educate with the aim that our children will eventually be a productive member of society (and as Christians, our prayer is that they will have a genuine life-transforming faith that shines out to those around them). We need to pray for wisdom in knowing which resources to introduce and at what stage.
This is one of the reasons I have been impressed with Sonlight. If you read their '27 reasons why you should not use Sonlight' , the presentation of controversial texts is specifically discussed. I met a a family of seven children (aged between 4 and 19 at the time) who seemed well able to weigh up both sides of an argument in order to reach their own view; this was a skill I did not learn until half way through my PhD. When I asked more questions, I learnt how the Sonlight curriculum had equipped them in this way. It is my prayer that the boys grow with this ability to listen, evaluate and formulate a correct view. And as we start to use materials from Sonlight in the near future, I look forward to seeing their questioning develop further.
Tonight, my challenge to you is this:
Are you able to answer the challenging questions about our faith? Why does God allow suffering? How did the world begin? Is hell really 'fair'? And so forth.
If you are challenged that you need to read more on some of these, how do you propose to make changes in your reading in order to achieve this?
How does your home education schedule enable your children to develop a Biblical worldview?
How do you teach your children to ask questions and evaluate material to draw a balanced view?
I came across a post entitled, '65 apologetics questions every Christian parent needs to learn to answer' - take a look, and see how you fare! I think I could do more than half without having to think too hard, but there were some, particularly some of the ones relating to creation and the different viewpoints, that I knew less about. By profession, I am a scientist, but in my faith, there are some areas where I am content to simply accept that God is greater than anything than we can understand and find no need to really grapple or be able to present the arguments for and against different perspectives. So I believe that God being God, of course the world could be created in 6 literal days. And God being God, it is hardly surprising to me that the best scientists have not been able to fully explain some of the apparent contradictions in evidence that they find. However, whilst that may be the most appropriate response in my personal faith, I am raising children who ask many questions. I realise that it is indeed important for me to be familiar with these apologetics issues, not so much for my own faith, but to help those who come to me with questions. The great thing is the number of helpful resources available - the blog I have referred to above has many detailed posts on numerous topics - the writer reads extensively as she seeks to address the questions in her own mind, and shares her insights. There are many other links presented such as Answers in Genesis. I resolve to spend more time considering these things.
At the same time, I came across a cautionary tale of a woman who had been raised in a fundamentalist Christian home, yet had 'converted' to athiesm as a young adult. The argument given was that she had been raised to believe, almost without questioning, the young earth creationist perspective and that all of Christianity stemmed from that; so when she encountered scientific argument that challenged her view on creation, her whole worldview crumbled. This underpinned to me the importance of being aware of both sides of the argument, and being able to prepare the children for the inevitable challenges of living in a society and age where Biblical truth is often scorned.
A great advantage of home education is that we can filter what our children read, hear or watch; but it would be naive to think that this will shield them from the influences of the world around them. Indeed, many choose to home educate with the aim that our children will eventually be a productive member of society (and as Christians, our prayer is that they will have a genuine life-transforming faith that shines out to those around them). We need to pray for wisdom in knowing which resources to introduce and at what stage.
This is one of the reasons I have been impressed with Sonlight. If you read their '27 reasons why you should not use Sonlight' , the presentation of controversial texts is specifically discussed. I met a a family of seven children (aged between 4 and 19 at the time) who seemed well able to weigh up both sides of an argument in order to reach their own view; this was a skill I did not learn until half way through my PhD. When I asked more questions, I learnt how the Sonlight curriculum had equipped them in this way. It is my prayer that the boys grow with this ability to listen, evaluate and formulate a correct view. And as we start to use materials from Sonlight in the near future, I look forward to seeing their questioning develop further.
Tonight, my challenge to you is this:
Are you able to answer the challenging questions about our faith? Why does God allow suffering? How did the world begin? Is hell really 'fair'? And so forth.
If you are challenged that you need to read more on some of these, how do you propose to make changes in your reading in order to achieve this?
How does your home education schedule enable your children to develop a Biblical worldview?
How do you teach your children to ask questions and evaluate material to draw a balanced view?
Sunday, 30 November 2014
Advent: The Jesse Tree Project
One of my biggest joys is the advent season, as we remember and celebrate the birth of Christ our Saviour, the fulfilment of so many prophecies throughout history. One of my biggest frustrations is how Christmas often becomes a celebration of materialism, excess, selfish indulgences and loses almost all of that true meaning. Whilst one would expect that of the world around us, who often simply do not know what Jesus came for, I find it especially hard in church when childrens' (and even adults'!) messages focus more on presents, fun, family, food and sometimes even have adults dressing as Santa in attempt to make the message 'contemporary'.
As a home educating family, how should we keep the focus on what really matters?
If your children are older than mine, you may have come across the Jesse Tree before. (A search engine will provide many helpful links to a range of resources based on this concept). I am surprised I hadn't come across it before, because it is just what I had been looking for.
The concept arises from Isaiah 11, where it is prophesied that a root from Jesse will ultimately be the Messiah. It then goes back through the pivotal events in the Old Testament that point towards the coming Christ, from creation, the fall, the patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and their descendents) and other key individuals in the genealogy of Christ (Rahab, Ruth, Esther etc). Each day there is a short Bible reading and an 'emblem' which can be drawn, coloured or made to hang on a 'tree'. There is so much potential for how this can develop - often our 'school' activities consist of some reading, writing including copywork, drawing and colouring, narration of a story, acting out a story, reading around the area using either the Bible or reference books, and sometimes watching short youtube clips such as biographies or childrens' Bible stories (the Beginners' Bible is particularly good as it is Bible based and does not have too many distracting features in it).
I am looking forward to starting this project tomorrow, and am much in prayer that the boys grow in their understanding of advent and what Christmas really means.
For each day, I have made envelopes with the Bible reference on the outside and the emblems on the inside. This year, I've printed them out and mounted them onto coloured card, and we have a simple branch that is spray painted silver that we will tie them onto. I will use that as the base, and then, depending on interest, energy levels and the schedule for the day, have other related activities up my sleeve. I don't want to push them to do too much, so am needing to temper my enthusiasm slightly with some realism too!
I wonder whether you do anything special for advent, and if you'd like to share some encouragements?
As a home educating family, how should we keep the focus on what really matters?
If your children are older than mine, you may have come across the Jesse Tree before. (A search engine will provide many helpful links to a range of resources based on this concept). I am surprised I hadn't come across it before, because it is just what I had been looking for.
The concept arises from Isaiah 11, where it is prophesied that a root from Jesse will ultimately be the Messiah. It then goes back through the pivotal events in the Old Testament that point towards the coming Christ, from creation, the fall, the patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and their descendents) and other key individuals in the genealogy of Christ (Rahab, Ruth, Esther etc). Each day there is a short Bible reading and an 'emblem' which can be drawn, coloured or made to hang on a 'tree'. There is so much potential for how this can develop - often our 'school' activities consist of some reading, writing including copywork, drawing and colouring, narration of a story, acting out a story, reading around the area using either the Bible or reference books, and sometimes watching short youtube clips such as biographies or childrens' Bible stories (the Beginners' Bible is particularly good as it is Bible based and does not have too many distracting features in it).
I am looking forward to starting this project tomorrow, and am much in prayer that the boys grow in their understanding of advent and what Christmas really means.
For each day, I have made envelopes with the Bible reference on the outside and the emblems on the inside. This year, I've printed them out and mounted them onto coloured card, and we have a simple branch that is spray painted silver that we will tie them onto. I will use that as the base, and then, depending on interest, energy levels and the schedule for the day, have other related activities up my sleeve. I don't want to push them to do too much, so am needing to temper my enthusiasm slightly with some realism too!
I wonder whether you do anything special for advent, and if you'd like to share some encouragements?
Saturday, 19 April 2014
Third culture kids
A few years ago, I had never heard the term 'third culture kid' and now it seems we are raising them. Basically, it refers to a child who is from one culture (ie that of their parents), but is brought up in another culture (ie the country they work in) but in fact never really feels they belong to either. The term is more often used for those who spend large portions of their childhood in a particular culture; for us, it is slightly different as we move around quite a lot. But there are some important considerations. A couple of years back, I read this helpful book by David Pollack and Ruth van Reken - I'd recommend it if you want to know more about the topic, because it was easy to read, frank, accessible and written from two slightly different backgrounds (one of the authors is Christian). I remember recognising traits in friends who were 'missionary kids' and feeling I understood them a little more. But also, I wondered whether as Christians, if we are truly raising our offspring to 'be in the world and not of the world' as Jesus describes in John Chapter 17, then in fact all Christian children will be 'third culture' to an extent - living in a world that is not ever going to be truly home. And maybe especially the case for those who are home educating; our children form a slightly different 'culture' to those who are used to being surrounded by large groups of children of the same age as themselves. So some of the things I describe will be due to trips overseas, some due to seeking to raise the boys Biblically, and some will be due to home educating. But the challenges remain. Right now, I'm really tired so will probably describe what I've noticed (the potential problem) but not go on to discuss the ideal solution in detail.
We've just returned from a month in East Africa. Short, but in the eyes of a four year old or a two year old, this was easily long enough to settle, to feel at home, to establish rhythms and routines, to adapt to the climate and the diet, and to start to thrive. On return, things seem unsettling and strange. They are a little young to be able to articulate what they might be feeling, but some things we have noticed are:
1) They do not realise that it is quite unusual to have lived in five countries in the first four years of your life. They don't realise that most people do not fly long haul very often, and that many of the experiences they have known are things that others might only dream of. As parents, we don't want to hammer home the 'you don't realise how privileged you are' line, because it isn't all that helpful (I remember hating being told that as a child too!). But at the same time, we want them to recognise that not everybody they speak to will be able to relate to everything they go on to say.
2) That we LIVE in these places, and so it is quite different to having just visited. For example, somebody who has been to East Africa for a week long safari will have had a very different experience to what it is like to live and work in a bustling and noisy city.
3) That to an extent, many people don't really want to hear the details and descriptions. We find that hard as adults (I've read some helpful books about 'reverse culture shock' that remind you of this, and other challenges that can be faced).
4) Their love for the outdoors has flourished. As with many home educating families, we choose to spend many hours out of doors, exploring the world around us, learning about nature, seasons, geography and generally being active; in the UK, most children we know who are not home educated prefer to spend time indoors, watching television or playing other games. Its notable coming back - the past few mornings (and we are enjoying a beautiful, although cold, spring with sunshine, blossoms, buds, birdsong and clear fresh air) we have been out in nearby parks and barely seen a soul. Sometimes we invite friends to join us, but they will tell us it is too far to walk, too cold, that the child has a runny nose, or various other things. Whilst I encourage their love of the outdoors and of nature, it makes us a bit different and that can be lonely.
5) Their love of insects.... Again, makes them just a bit different. I love the fact they can tell me in detail about different types of cockroaches, and what makes each so especially beautiful. But not everybody enjoys this!
6) Climate. They are freezing cold. It's funny when their friends are in T shirts and they are bundled up for winter.
7) Changes in length of day. We were on the equator. It got light at 7am and got dark at 7pm. Here, it gets light early and they have to go to bed when the sun is still shining. That takes a lot of getting used to!
8) Attitudes towards children. I think the world can be divided into those who see children as people, and talk to them as individuals and listen to them, and those who see them as an inconvenience, or certainly unable to articulate their own views. The proportions of the two types seems to vary according to culture. Or perhaps it is that we are exposed to more of those who are genuinely interested in children when overseas. It is hard when people ask them about Africa, and they start to speak and the person doesn't listen.
9) Having seen real poverty and then returning to a materialistic culture. This year was the first Christmas in the UK that they could remember (previous ones having been in rural Gambia (mission hospital) or in Malawi, where gifts (if any) were home made and simple, festivities did not start until Christmas Eve, and the emphasis was on the birth of the Son of God). Christmas raised a lot of questions. But now it is Easter and the same has occurred. We went to a church event today where there were a lot of crafts, chocolate etc. The boys were unsettled and asked to leave after about half an hour. One of them told me he had wanted to do 'Easter craft' and none of the things they did today were in the Bible. This is a four year old speaking, but he saw the inconsistency. What does eating too much chocolate have to do with the risen Saviour? And there are things like that all the time. I once heard African and European cultures broadly contrasted in the terms that 'they value people more than things' or 'they value relationships and spirituality more'. I would agree with that generalisation. And returning home right before Easter has brought its challenges. At the same time, I must confess it has brought me encouragement to see how they boys question what is happening around them. But it was sad to see them in a church building, overwhelmed by the activities that surrounded them, not really able to relate to the other children who were there, and asking to come home so they can read about Jesus dying on the cross.
10) The recognition that life brings pain. Again, not all of this is a 'third culture' thing. Our first child died in infancy, and the boys have been brought up to know all about her, to consider her as part of the family, to know that death is a fact of life and that heaven is real. Our good friends also had a daughter die more recently. In Africa we have seen children and young adults who look sick. We have seen mothers die in childbirth, and have known infants be thrown away into rubbish tips or otherwise abandoned because their parents or surviving relatives have been unable to cope. For us, these issues often come up in conversation; I've noticed other adults look uncomfortable at the questions that the boys can raise. But because we move around and they see things differently and ask many questions, we seek to answer them as simply and truthfully as we can. Perhaps they have understood things that many adults in more stable environments spend much of their lives running away from. But it makes you a bit different from other four year olds, and they don't always understand that.
With these challenges, there are blessings and encouragements, and as always home education enables us to work through and address some of these things at the time that they arise. So, rather than discussing in detail a biblical perspective, or summarising what other authors have written, I'll finish will a few encouragements:
1) Awareness of eternity
2) Thankfulness for our daily bread, our home, our clothes - having seen those without
3) A questioning attitude towards things they do not understand
4) A growing love of nature
5) Understanding of biology - I've been astonished by the descriptions of insects, plants and birds
6) Geography - they love drawing flight paths onto maps of the world and know all the continents, many countries and major cities - none of this is something we have sought to teach
7) A desire to explore and discover new things, new foods, new routes to familiar places
8) An unawareness of race, culture or nationality when they meet others
9) A Biblical perspective with regard to Christmas and Easter - being able to see what is Biblical and what is added on more clearly than many adults
10) That we can explore all of this together as a family
If you find yourself raising 'third culture kids' through geography or through choices your family has made, be encouraged. God can use these challenges as opportunities, and I think the greatest is that clear understanding of God and eternity. I pray that our children will overcome obstacles and flourish with the opportunities given. And I pray that as parents we can understand our children and guide them as they learn.
We've just returned from a month in East Africa. Short, but in the eyes of a four year old or a two year old, this was easily long enough to settle, to feel at home, to establish rhythms and routines, to adapt to the climate and the diet, and to start to thrive. On return, things seem unsettling and strange. They are a little young to be able to articulate what they might be feeling, but some things we have noticed are:
1) They do not realise that it is quite unusual to have lived in five countries in the first four years of your life. They don't realise that most people do not fly long haul very often, and that many of the experiences they have known are things that others might only dream of. As parents, we don't want to hammer home the 'you don't realise how privileged you are' line, because it isn't all that helpful (I remember hating being told that as a child too!). But at the same time, we want them to recognise that not everybody they speak to will be able to relate to everything they go on to say.
2) That we LIVE in these places, and so it is quite different to having just visited. For example, somebody who has been to East Africa for a week long safari will have had a very different experience to what it is like to live and work in a bustling and noisy city.
3) That to an extent, many people don't really want to hear the details and descriptions. We find that hard as adults (I've read some helpful books about 'reverse culture shock' that remind you of this, and other challenges that can be faced).
4) Their love for the outdoors has flourished. As with many home educating families, we choose to spend many hours out of doors, exploring the world around us, learning about nature, seasons, geography and generally being active; in the UK, most children we know who are not home educated prefer to spend time indoors, watching television or playing other games. Its notable coming back - the past few mornings (and we are enjoying a beautiful, although cold, spring with sunshine, blossoms, buds, birdsong and clear fresh air) we have been out in nearby parks and barely seen a soul. Sometimes we invite friends to join us, but they will tell us it is too far to walk, too cold, that the child has a runny nose, or various other things. Whilst I encourage their love of the outdoors and of nature, it makes us a bit different and that can be lonely.
5) Their love of insects.... Again, makes them just a bit different. I love the fact they can tell me in detail about different types of cockroaches, and what makes each so especially beautiful. But not everybody enjoys this!
6) Climate. They are freezing cold. It's funny when their friends are in T shirts and they are bundled up for winter.
7) Changes in length of day. We were on the equator. It got light at 7am and got dark at 7pm. Here, it gets light early and they have to go to bed when the sun is still shining. That takes a lot of getting used to!
8) Attitudes towards children. I think the world can be divided into those who see children as people, and talk to them as individuals and listen to them, and those who see them as an inconvenience, or certainly unable to articulate their own views. The proportions of the two types seems to vary according to culture. Or perhaps it is that we are exposed to more of those who are genuinely interested in children when overseas. It is hard when people ask them about Africa, and they start to speak and the person doesn't listen.
9) Having seen real poverty and then returning to a materialistic culture. This year was the first Christmas in the UK that they could remember (previous ones having been in rural Gambia (mission hospital) or in Malawi, where gifts (if any) were home made and simple, festivities did not start until Christmas Eve, and the emphasis was on the birth of the Son of God). Christmas raised a lot of questions. But now it is Easter and the same has occurred. We went to a church event today where there were a lot of crafts, chocolate etc. The boys were unsettled and asked to leave after about half an hour. One of them told me he had wanted to do 'Easter craft' and none of the things they did today were in the Bible. This is a four year old speaking, but he saw the inconsistency. What does eating too much chocolate have to do with the risen Saviour? And there are things like that all the time. I once heard African and European cultures broadly contrasted in the terms that 'they value people more than things' or 'they value relationships and spirituality more'. I would agree with that generalisation. And returning home right before Easter has brought its challenges. At the same time, I must confess it has brought me encouragement to see how they boys question what is happening around them. But it was sad to see them in a church building, overwhelmed by the activities that surrounded them, not really able to relate to the other children who were there, and asking to come home so they can read about Jesus dying on the cross.
10) The recognition that life brings pain. Again, not all of this is a 'third culture' thing. Our first child died in infancy, and the boys have been brought up to know all about her, to consider her as part of the family, to know that death is a fact of life and that heaven is real. Our good friends also had a daughter die more recently. In Africa we have seen children and young adults who look sick. We have seen mothers die in childbirth, and have known infants be thrown away into rubbish tips or otherwise abandoned because their parents or surviving relatives have been unable to cope. For us, these issues often come up in conversation; I've noticed other adults look uncomfortable at the questions that the boys can raise. But because we move around and they see things differently and ask many questions, we seek to answer them as simply and truthfully as we can. Perhaps they have understood things that many adults in more stable environments spend much of their lives running away from. But it makes you a bit different from other four year olds, and they don't always understand that.
With these challenges, there are blessings and encouragements, and as always home education enables us to work through and address some of these things at the time that they arise. So, rather than discussing in detail a biblical perspective, or summarising what other authors have written, I'll finish will a few encouragements:
1) Awareness of eternity
2) Thankfulness for our daily bread, our home, our clothes - having seen those without
3) A questioning attitude towards things they do not understand
4) A growing love of nature
5) Understanding of biology - I've been astonished by the descriptions of insects, plants and birds
6) Geography - they love drawing flight paths onto maps of the world and know all the continents, many countries and major cities - none of this is something we have sought to teach
7) A desire to explore and discover new things, new foods, new routes to familiar places
8) An unawareness of race, culture or nationality when they meet others
9) A Biblical perspective with regard to Christmas and Easter - being able to see what is Biblical and what is added on more clearly than many adults
10) That we can explore all of this together as a family
If you find yourself raising 'third culture kids' through geography or through choices your family has made, be encouraged. God can use these challenges as opportunities, and I think the greatest is that clear understanding of God and eternity. I pray that our children will overcome obstacles and flourish with the opportunities given. And I pray that as parents we can understand our children and guide them as they learn.
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
Christmas reflection
It's 7pm on Christmas Day. My boys are asleep (a little unwell, and tired from the excitement of the day). My husband is sleeping before his night shift. For the first time in a while I am sitting peacefully in my front room and taking some time to reflect. Sorry for the absence of blog posts in the past six weeks!
What is Christmas about?
What really matters? What do we want our children to understand about this time of year? I've found some things challenging this year - we are in the UK, whereas last year we were in west Africa, working in a mission hospital; somehow there was a much greater focus on Christ, His incarnation, His salvation and the priorities were to honour and worship Him. Yes, we enjoyed special food, and exchanged small gifts, but the priority, the emphasis was on the birth of our Saviour. Here, even within the churches that I know, there seems to be a skewed emphasis. One of my four year olds was almost laughed at the other day, when somebody was asking what they thought the best thing about Christmas was, and he said 'Jesus dying on the cross'. I don't know if the laughter was because they thought he was confusing Christmas and Easter, or because all the other children were talking about food, toys, television and parties. But it made me sad because this took place in a Christian context.
How do churches portray the celebration of Christ?
The preamble to a service might talk about gifts, maybe even ask the children what gifts they had recieved. That happened this morning, whereas we as a family do not open gifts until after church because our priority is worship. We want the children to know that God comes first, and that Christmas is primarily a celebration of Jesus. I'm not against gifts, or joyful celebration by any means! Today, we'd had a lovely morning, special breakfast muffins, a brisk walk across two frosty parks watching the pink and yellow sunrise, time together as a family. But it was confusing and distracting to have the pastor start by asking lots of people to tell the church what presents they had recieved. And then to conclude with remarks to the effect that its now time to go back to feasting and enjoying gifts - also suggests that God is somehow an added extra, even though the focus of the sermon was entirely the opposite. As an adult, I found this frustrating, and I was aware of how this may confuse children by sending mixed messages. On the one hand, as Christians we can really celebrate Christmas because we understand its deeper meaning, but on the other hand, we celebrate very much in the same way as the world.
I knew some Canadian missionaries who did not celebrate Christmas Day at all. I think that approach misses the point too, because it is a time worthy of great celebration. But I can also understand some of their reasons. In the UK, it seems to me that 'Christmas' often becomes a celebration of materialism, of the family, of feasting (which can turn into gluttony and drunkenness) and often brings much of the opposite of what Christ brought into the world. But at the same time, is it not a real opportunity to challenge people to consider what they are truly celebrating, and who Jesus was and what He did? I don't think we should not celebrate. But I would also urge caution. There can be a tendency amongst the church to think that because they are not as extreme in their excesses as those in the world, that it is somehow OK. It is true that we are called to be 'in the world but not of the world' and that we need to understand the people around us to be able to know them more, and to love them more. But at the same time, we are told to be 'holy' - to be set apart for God, to be different. Often, I come to think of what it means to be in the world but not of it, to live here but never fully belong, to be a 'stranger'. The motivation is that we are longing for our heavenly home, the place where we will truly know rest, the place where all things will be restored and made new. And that is the celebration of Christmas.
How can we truly celebrate?
I hope what I have written above makes sense. I am not a miserable, joyless, legalistic grouch! But I feel concerned when churches seem to bend over to reach the world to the point where they almost seem to forget what their highest priority is. People long for something more. In the book of Ecclesiastes, it is written 'You put eternity in the heart of man' - there is a longing for something higher, purer, better than this corrupt world that surrounds us. And Christmas is a time to remember that glory and to truly rejoice!
Pondering these things, I came across another Christian parent with similar concerns.
So, you might wonder, if I feel a bit conflicted by some church activities, and if I am anxious not to celebrate in a way which is too worldly, and if as home educating Christian parents we are seeking to instill in our children a greater understanding of God and what it means to rejoice in Jesus' birth - then what have we done over the advent period?
1) Memory verses/ passages. I've reflected before that young children are expected to be able to remember nursery rhymes or songs from TV shows, but that somehow Bible memory is seen as too serious an activity or too advanced for them at this age. We were first challenged by this when we celebrated our first African Christmas with a family who home educated their seven children. Each of them had prepared something, right down to the three year old. This year, our four year olds learned most of Luke Chapter 2, the passage from Isaiah 9 proclaiming, 'Unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government shall be upon His shoulders. And His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace'. They now get extremely excited when they hear these words spoken in church, and have been writing their own songs with them in!
2) We baked cookies and sweets, made cards, and then took them round to friends as gifts. It's difficult these days - most people have everything they want or need, but there is something personal about a home made gift, and few people don't enjoy something nice to eat. Also, it makes it tangible for the children to see that effort goes into making something good, but that it brings real pleasure. Again, it reinforces the importance of relationships and community, which sometimes seem lacking in current society.
3) We've done music. Lots of it. Recently we got a new piano (having left our old one behind when we left Africa). I've brought down my saxophone (which had been hiding upstairs for too long) and the boys have various percussion instruments. We gather round the piano most evenings, and over Christmas have had extended singing times after dinner. Its a really special thing to do, to be able to worship God together as a family. (It also has the added bonus that the boys become more accustomed to times of singing/ bible reading/ prayer and so cope better with Sunday church services). Through the words of some of the great Christmas carols, we've all been able to reflect and know something more of God.
4) Making decorations. We've collected pinecones, holly and ivy, and some of these we have spray painted silver. We made a large collage of shepherds out in the fields, watching over their flocks by night when suddenly an Angel of the Lord appeared to them. We've asked the boys to think about what they've read in the Bible and what needs to go on the collage. As well as being fun and making a lovely decoration, they've thought quite a bit about how it must be to be out in the fields at night - hence we lit a fire for the shepherds and made them some warm clothes!
5) Visiting family. We live quite a distance from most relatives, but were able to visit a large section of the family last week. Like I said, I'm not against visiting friends and family, enjoying meals together and having fun - its just that I think the emphasis needs to be on why we are having the celebrations.
6) Lots of baking. Cooking is a big activity in this house, in that we do plenty of it, but involve the boys and embrace the many educational opportunities that present themselves as one follows a recipe. Sometimes I stick to things I know are simple and will work well, but this month we've experimented a bit more
7) Singing carols in a nursing home with a group from church. This was a very special thing to do. Many of the old people in that home were confused and suffering with memory loss, but their faces lit up as they started to sing along to the old carols that they remembered from their youth. It was good for the boys to be involved in this, and to seek to share some of the good news about God with those who may not know it themselves.
In all these things, my prayer is that the boys know and love God more each day as they grow. Somebody recently told me I was thinking too much about things, maybe being a bit 'hard on myself' when I was reflecting on mixed motives and whether we truly live to serve and honour God in all things. But as a parent, what is the most important thing of all? What is your priority? Truly? Is it simply to get through the day, or to do the things that everybody else does without thinking about it? Or is it worth stopping and thinking a little more.
What is Christmas about?
What really matters? What do we want our children to understand about this time of year? I've found some things challenging this year - we are in the UK, whereas last year we were in west Africa, working in a mission hospital; somehow there was a much greater focus on Christ, His incarnation, His salvation and the priorities were to honour and worship Him. Yes, we enjoyed special food, and exchanged small gifts, but the priority, the emphasis was on the birth of our Saviour. Here, even within the churches that I know, there seems to be a skewed emphasis. One of my four year olds was almost laughed at the other day, when somebody was asking what they thought the best thing about Christmas was, and he said 'Jesus dying on the cross'. I don't know if the laughter was because they thought he was confusing Christmas and Easter, or because all the other children were talking about food, toys, television and parties. But it made me sad because this took place in a Christian context.
How do churches portray the celebration of Christ?
The preamble to a service might talk about gifts, maybe even ask the children what gifts they had recieved. That happened this morning, whereas we as a family do not open gifts until after church because our priority is worship. We want the children to know that God comes first, and that Christmas is primarily a celebration of Jesus. I'm not against gifts, or joyful celebration by any means! Today, we'd had a lovely morning, special breakfast muffins, a brisk walk across two frosty parks watching the pink and yellow sunrise, time together as a family. But it was confusing and distracting to have the pastor start by asking lots of people to tell the church what presents they had recieved. And then to conclude with remarks to the effect that its now time to go back to feasting and enjoying gifts - also suggests that God is somehow an added extra, even though the focus of the sermon was entirely the opposite. As an adult, I found this frustrating, and I was aware of how this may confuse children by sending mixed messages. On the one hand, as Christians we can really celebrate Christmas because we understand its deeper meaning, but on the other hand, we celebrate very much in the same way as the world.
I knew some Canadian missionaries who did not celebrate Christmas Day at all. I think that approach misses the point too, because it is a time worthy of great celebration. But I can also understand some of their reasons. In the UK, it seems to me that 'Christmas' often becomes a celebration of materialism, of the family, of feasting (which can turn into gluttony and drunkenness) and often brings much of the opposite of what Christ brought into the world. But at the same time, is it not a real opportunity to challenge people to consider what they are truly celebrating, and who Jesus was and what He did? I don't think we should not celebrate. But I would also urge caution. There can be a tendency amongst the church to think that because they are not as extreme in their excesses as those in the world, that it is somehow OK. It is true that we are called to be 'in the world but not of the world' and that we need to understand the people around us to be able to know them more, and to love them more. But at the same time, we are told to be 'holy' - to be set apart for God, to be different. Often, I come to think of what it means to be in the world but not of it, to live here but never fully belong, to be a 'stranger'. The motivation is that we are longing for our heavenly home, the place where we will truly know rest, the place where all things will be restored and made new. And that is the celebration of Christmas.
How can we truly celebrate?
I hope what I have written above makes sense. I am not a miserable, joyless, legalistic grouch! But I feel concerned when churches seem to bend over to reach the world to the point where they almost seem to forget what their highest priority is. People long for something more. In the book of Ecclesiastes, it is written 'You put eternity in the heart of man' - there is a longing for something higher, purer, better than this corrupt world that surrounds us. And Christmas is a time to remember that glory and to truly rejoice!
Pondering these things, I came across another Christian parent with similar concerns.
So, you might wonder, if I feel a bit conflicted by some church activities, and if I am anxious not to celebrate in a way which is too worldly, and if as home educating Christian parents we are seeking to instill in our children a greater understanding of God and what it means to rejoice in Jesus' birth - then what have we done over the advent period?
1) Memory verses/ passages. I've reflected before that young children are expected to be able to remember nursery rhymes or songs from TV shows, but that somehow Bible memory is seen as too serious an activity or too advanced for them at this age. We were first challenged by this when we celebrated our first African Christmas with a family who home educated their seven children. Each of them had prepared something, right down to the three year old. This year, our four year olds learned most of Luke Chapter 2, the passage from Isaiah 9 proclaiming, 'Unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government shall be upon His shoulders. And His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace'. They now get extremely excited when they hear these words spoken in church, and have been writing their own songs with them in!
2) We baked cookies and sweets, made cards, and then took them round to friends as gifts. It's difficult these days - most people have everything they want or need, but there is something personal about a home made gift, and few people don't enjoy something nice to eat. Also, it makes it tangible for the children to see that effort goes into making something good, but that it brings real pleasure. Again, it reinforces the importance of relationships and community, which sometimes seem lacking in current society.
3) We've done music. Lots of it. Recently we got a new piano (having left our old one behind when we left Africa). I've brought down my saxophone (which had been hiding upstairs for too long) and the boys have various percussion instruments. We gather round the piano most evenings, and over Christmas have had extended singing times after dinner. Its a really special thing to do, to be able to worship God together as a family. (It also has the added bonus that the boys become more accustomed to times of singing/ bible reading/ prayer and so cope better with Sunday church services). Through the words of some of the great Christmas carols, we've all been able to reflect and know something more of God.
4) Making decorations. We've collected pinecones, holly and ivy, and some of these we have spray painted silver. We made a large collage of shepherds out in the fields, watching over their flocks by night when suddenly an Angel of the Lord appeared to them. We've asked the boys to think about what they've read in the Bible and what needs to go on the collage. As well as being fun and making a lovely decoration, they've thought quite a bit about how it must be to be out in the fields at night - hence we lit a fire for the shepherds and made them some warm clothes!
5) Visiting family. We live quite a distance from most relatives, but were able to visit a large section of the family last week. Like I said, I'm not against visiting friends and family, enjoying meals together and having fun - its just that I think the emphasis needs to be on why we are having the celebrations.
6) Lots of baking. Cooking is a big activity in this house, in that we do plenty of it, but involve the boys and embrace the many educational opportunities that present themselves as one follows a recipe. Sometimes I stick to things I know are simple and will work well, but this month we've experimented a bit more
7) Singing carols in a nursing home with a group from church. This was a very special thing to do. Many of the old people in that home were confused and suffering with memory loss, but their faces lit up as they started to sing along to the old carols that they remembered from their youth. It was good for the boys to be involved in this, and to seek to share some of the good news about God with those who may not know it themselves.
In all these things, my prayer is that the boys know and love God more each day as they grow. Somebody recently told me I was thinking too much about things, maybe being a bit 'hard on myself' when I was reflecting on mixed motives and whether we truly live to serve and honour God in all things. But as a parent, what is the most important thing of all? What is your priority? Truly? Is it simply to get through the day, or to do the things that everybody else does without thinking about it? Or is it worth stopping and thinking a little more.
'And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.'
Colossians 3:17
Monday, 14 October 2013
Secular versus Spiritual Wisdom
Lately I’ve
been reading some secular works on the education of young children, and some of
the social advantages in home education. If you read this blog regularly, you
will know that I am a Christian who believes the Bible to be the living word of
God, the absolute truth and final authority on all matters. Many of the books
and resources that I read and refer to are by authors who hold a similar view.
But lately I am reading academic works from those who do not make clear whether
or not they believe in the same truths. Is there a paradox? I have some
Christian friends who are cautious, indeed at times suspicious, of anything
written from this perspective; they explain clearly the differences between
wisdom that comes from God in heaven and ‘worldly’ wisdom which often has a
very different motivation. However, I’d like to add a short note to explain my
stance on this.
Firstly, I
read everything through the lens of my biblical worldview. There are books,
magazines, and blogs which I glance at and then go no further as I feel the
attitude with which they are written is simply not helpful, and that I will not
be able to draw anything beneficial for my family from them (I must comment
that this will include writings by Christian authors, which I simply do not find
helpful or encouraging). With others, I can recognise truth, indeed wisdom, and
then I ask myself whether this fits in with my understanding of how God sees
things. Is what I am reading consistent with a biblical view on children,
family life, marriage, humanity, society and so forth? Using the recent example
of John Holt’s 1967 publication, ‘How Children Learn’ I will illustrate this.
What does
the Bible say about children? How does God view children? This list is far from
exhaustive!
Psalm 128:
3-4: ‘Your wife shall be like a fruitful
vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all
around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord’.
Psalm 127:
3-4: ‘Behold, children are a heritage
from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a
warrior, so are the children of one’s youth’.
In the
words of Jesus,
Matthew
18:3-5: ‘Assuredly I say to you, unless
you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the
kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is
the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like
this in My name receives Me.’
Matthew
19:14: ‘Jesus said, ‘Let the little
children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of
heaven’.
The
following principles can be drawn:
·
Each
child is known by God; indeed, each child is placed within a family as a
blessing from God
·
God
entrusts our children to us, to train them as arrows in the hand of a warrior
(with purpose)
·
Each
child is precious
·
Time
invested with children is more important than much time invested elsewhere;
Jesus’ disciples thought He had more important priorities, and He rebuked and
corrected this view
·
The
childlike mind is different to that of an adult, and finds it easier to trust
and accept things about the world around them; Jesus does not suggest that
children are too young, simple or naive
to understand the things of God, but quite the contrary.
Reading
John Holt, I see certain things about his attitude towards children, and the
attitude he is keen that the reader comes to adopt:
·
He
respects children as individuals
·
He
trusts children, and is impressed by the workings of their mind and their
understanding
·
He
sees each child as unique, precious, worth investing time in
·
He
has a desire that each child should be nurtured and encouraged rather than
forced into a mentality of failure and disappointment
·
He
has a humility, recognising that in fact children can teach us many things
There is no
appreciation in Holt’s writings of a greater purpose, of a perfect creator.
There is no reference to the verses in Deuteronomy Chapter 6 which exhort us: ‘And these words which I command you today
shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and
shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when
you lie down, and when you rise up.’ – but his model of education
approaches this holistic description (except sadly lacking in the spiritual
dimension which one could argue is the most important of all). It is sad that a
man with such a gentle, humble, and dare I say, enlightened, attitude towards
children could not see beyond the created beings to the glorious Creator. (I
could also comment that his attitude towards children seems to me more
Christlike than some of the attitudes I have encountered within the church,
where it can seem that they are a nuisance, to be seen and not heard, and
certainly not to be encouraged to remain during the full worship service on a
Sunday morning! But I’ve discussed this aspect elsewhere under my posts on ‘Family centred church’ and some of the writings and sermons of Voddie Baucham).
And there
are elements that are absent by omission. No mention is made of discipline, for
example, although a reasonable proportion of Bible teaching on child-rearing
relates to consistent and firm discipline when it is needed. None of the
children Holt described were his own, and he did not spend prolonged time with
any of these; I wonder whether some of his approaches may have led to a home
which is dominated by the whims of a wilful toddler. This is a limitation, but
I do not believe detracts greatly from the value of the thesis.
Can a
non-believer offer anything of value to a Christian parent? I sometimes am
asked a similar question in relation to my own scientific academic work, and I
believe the question shows a fundamental misunderstanding of a human being in
relation to God. The letter to the Romans starts by describing how ‘since the creation of the world His
invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are
made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse...for
when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law,
these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves, who show the work
of the law written in their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and
between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them.’ (Romans
1:20, 2:14-15). All people are made in the image of God. Much of God’s
glory and goodness is made manifest in creation; even by examining the workings
of a young child’s mind, it is conceivable that John Holt was able to glimpse
something of God’s amazing creator, and perhaps in his heart may have cried out
with the psalmist ‘I will praise You for
I am fearfully and wonderfully made’ (Psalm 139). Even if not, is it not
within the bounds of possibility that his writings were able to capture some
essence of God’s love, compassion, concern and purpose for children?
Yes, one
must be careful in how far this argument is taken. And I pray that I have the
wisdom to read what is helpful and to ignore that which is not. I pray that
what I write here on this blog is a challenge and encouragement to both
Christians and to those who perhaps do not know and love this God, but are keen
to explore the fact that there is a spiritual dimension to this world.
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