Questioning as you teach

When you are teaching your children, do you ask frequent questions? I know I do! ‘Look at the trees, what colours do you see?’, ‘How many steps are there up to the station?’, ‘Can you tell me what that story was all about? Why was the King hiding?’ etc. Lately I’ve been made to stop and question my own questioning. Is this a good and helpful approach? Or can it paradoxically be harmful? Or is the truth of the matter that both are true, and it all depends on the type of questions asked, their timing and tact, and also a little on the learning style/ personality of the child?

From John Holt’s ‘How Children Learn’, he cautions against the use of excessive questioning. He notes that it can betray a lack of confidence in the child to interact with the materials, indeed with the world around them. It presumes that our interpretation and understanding of a situation is superior to theirs, and presumes that it will be of benefit for the child to hear what the adult has to say. Charlotte Mason describes a similar concept. She refers to it as a skill that the parent needs to learn, that of watchful attentiveness without intrusion. 'Masterly inactivity'. By way of example, she describes a mother out in the woods for the day with her children, who allows them to explore, to investigate, to play, to imagine, to discover; this mother does not sit idly by, but is available to answer the questions of the children, perhaps to direct them towards an area of particular interest, and of course to supervise regarding safety (depending on the ages and ability of the children). Reading some of her work, I can see that at times I may have been too keen to make the most of each ‘learning opportunity’ by perhaps detracting from it by my own explanations, rather than giving my children the time and space to discover for themselves. ‘I believe that all children bring with them much capacity which is not recognised by their teachers, chiefly intellectual capacity (always in advance of motor power), which we are apt to down in deluges of explanation, or dissipate in futile labours in which there is no advance’.

I’m currently reading Volume 6 of the Complete Works of Charlotte Mason, entitled, ‘A Philosophy of Education’. This book was written towards the end of her career, and she frequently reflects back to her earlier writings, indicating areas where her views have either changed, or become strengthened. This volume discusses the issues involved in the education of children ‘of school age’ – by which she means, by and large, children aged six or older. NB: It is important that those with younger children (myself included) do not feel that our children are not achieving that perfect attention and recall that she describes with a sense of discouragement of failure, but rather that this is something attainable, and we can put in place the necessary foundations now.

She describes the same issue as John Holt. Breaking it down a little:

1)      Children should be motivated by the hunger for knowledge, the love of increasing understanding of the world around them, rather than simply to jump through a certain hoop or to pass a particular test. The former is expansive, the child grows as a person, retains and can recall the information, but really understands it and can build upon it, whereas in the latter, the child often becomes fatigued, disinterested, does not necessarily understand or appreciate the facts they may have memorised, and has no lasting benefit.

2)      Rather than repetition, attention should be expected first time round. This is a skill (or habit) that can be learnt; previously I felt somewhat discouraged that my children did not display this excellent attention. However, a friend reminded me that mine were much younger. Now, six months later, I am starting to see a real difference as they sit and listen, and are able to recall and describe. Don’t be discouraged. Just maybe make the section of reading a little shorter.

3)      But relating to the above, don’t make it simpler! I love the way Charlotte Mason talks about ‘twaddle’. Holt describes something similar here; why should children prefer simple, contrived stories which are considered ‘suitable for their age?’  She describes primary school aged children (aged under 11 or 12) who were able to really embrace literature which is often now only encountered towards the more senior end of secondary school; classical Greek writings or Shakespeare for example. Why should children not have their minds expanded so that they can grow, imagine, learn, develop? ‘To introduce children to literature is to instal them in a very rich and glorious kingdom, to bring a continual holiday to their doors, to lay before them a feast exquisitely served. But they must learn to know literature by being familiar with it from the very first.’

4)      By asking a child to narrate back to you part of the story or the passage, or to describe their walk in the countryside, what you are really doing is teaching the child to interact with the material. They are not regurgitating facts and information, but rather are processing what they have received, integrating it, assimilating it, and then bringing it all together in their narration. This process is what Holt (quotingDawkins extensively) describes as creating their own model. 

5)      I love this comment: ‘Children so taught express themselves in forcible and fluent English and use a copious vocabulary.’ Now I also need to remark, this is not something which is necessarily seen as popular or desirable in today’s world! I remember once, my eldest son (then aged two and a half), said ‘female mallard’ when looking at a picture of a duck in a child’s book. My friend (a paediatrician for whom I have respect both personally and professionally) commented that he’d struggle at school if he spoke like that, and that it would soon be drummed out of him. I do not wish to sound ‘superior’ or elitist in any way, but rather to comment that sometimes children with a rich vocabulary and a different outlook to the majority may be seen as ‘precocious’ or that as parents, we are trying to ‘prove something’. We are not, and to me it is a sad reflection on today’s society and the mainstream education which seems to favour regression towards the mean.

I was interested to note Charlotte Mason’s comments about her teacher training institute: ‘In our Training College, the students are not taught how to stimulate attention, how to keep order, how to give marks, how to punish or even how to reward, how to manage a large class or a small school with children in different classes. All these things come by nature in a school where the teachers know something of the capacities and requirements of children.’ That both challenged and excited me! Education is far more, far greater, than simply achieving control in a class. However, having known several friends train in both primary and secondary education, it seems that a significant proportion of time is invested in what basically amounts to ‘crowd control’. It is assumed that most children will not want to be there, will be easily distracted, will be disobedient and rebellious; and by the point that assumption has been made, I believe things have already gone too far and the child knows that this is the type of behaviour that is expected. Today’s schools seem to be a far cry from the environment of active, stimulated, interactive learners that both Mason and Holt have described.

I find this question of interaction with the learning material, of assimilation, processing, understanding, of integration extremely challenging. I have undertaken training in Higher Education – of university students, and postgraduates; and one of the most taxing questions is just how to achieve the desire for knowledge and understanding rather than simply facts and information. It is difficult! The majority of students I encounter are those who could be considered ‘high achievers’. They have ‘excelled’ throughout much of their formal schooling, and yet how does one judge this ‘excellence’? Is it simply that they have scored highly on the necessary tests and exams? Often that may be so! A student may have done extremely well in objective terms, and yet never have learnt to become a self-motivated lifelong learner. Personally, despite straight As, top marks in two degrees and a PhD, I only think I fully appreciated how to become a self-directed learner mid-way through my PhD when I encountered challenges to which there was not a simple answer, difficulties which my ‘teacher’ (or ‘supervisor’) could not simply answer, problem for which the solutions were not well defined (hence the need for the research I was directing). I am not alone; in fact I would suggest that we often consider self-directed learning, processing of information etc as a postgraduate skill. However, what both Holt and Mason are arguing for, half a century apart from one another, is that this should be the driving principle that children are brought up with, and upon which all subsequent education is built. 

The family that really demonstrated to me this benefit in home education (although it may exist within other methods of education too; just this is not something I have seen) had seven children aged between four and nineteen years of age. The teenagers were astonishing in that they could clearly express and articulate their views, how they had reached those views, the evidence in favour and the arguments against. They were not indoctrinated ‘clones’ of one another, were not dominated by factual recall, but rather had been given the resources and the gentle direction necessary to find their own stance. (This family used Sonlight, a Christian literature based curriculum, which seems to follow many of the principles advocated by Charlotte Mason).

So where does this leave me with regard to questioning? I suppose simply to take greater care. Like Holt, to take a step back and watch what my children are doing and saying, to delight in their fascination in tiny detail, but to give them the time and space to work things out for themselves, or to respond to their questions in a simple, not overly expansive manner. What we already do is look things up in books when we get home (for example birds or flowers). By doing so, I am helping them see where the information can be gained. And I don’t always use ‘children’s’ books, but whichever source seems to describe things clearly, concisely and eloquently.

I’m sure I’ll revisit this area of questioning again before too long. What are your views? Do you question too much? Do you ask basic questions to test your child’s comprehension? Or do you enable them to assimilate information and form a strong foundational model upon which to build?

John Holt: How Children Learn. Part 1: Reading

How Children Learn by John Holt. Initially published 1967, revised 1983.

When I first became interested in ‘non traditional’ methods of early childhood education, several sources directed me to the writings of John Holt. From a background of initially politics, then teaching in a range of schools and serving as a visiting lecturer at Harvard Graduate School of Education, he became an early proponent of the homeschooling movement and had a key role in several important pieces of legislature. At the time of publication in 1967, his writings were seen as somewhat revolutionary.

Several key topics are covered: Learning about children; games and experiments; talk; reading; sports; art, math and other things; fantasy; the mind at work; and learning and love. Initially he starts by describing his observations of several young children with whom he was acquainted. He would simply watch, observe, look for patterns, describe what he saw. Some of this was familiar to me as a parent with young children; for example, how to one person a child may seem to be ‘fiddling’ whereas in fact they are trying to explore the world around them and make sense of this. He defies certain myths, such as that children have a short attention span (have you ever watched a young child who is utterly engrossed in something for a prolonged period?), or that children must not be let near precious or delicate things (he describes the way children would respond when given a typewriter, or when trying to produce a note on his cello). 

But today, I want to discuss his ideas and observations regarding how a child learns to read. This is particularly relevant to me at present, as my two oldest boys (aged 4 and 3) are starting to recognise letters and words, and starting to show an interest in making their own letters and shapes with pencils and crayons. I have been wondering whether I should follow any particular method or curriculum to capture their current interest and excitement; in fact what I have read from John Hold steers me away from this line with a note of caution.

How do children learn?

Children learn as they start to make sense of the world around them. In terms of talking, this almost invariably involves a period of babbling, of trying out many different sounds to see which are recognisable, useful words. Similarly with reading and writing, there is often a time of experimenting, of testing boundaries, of seeing how things fit together; if an adult clumsily tries to force the child to do something a certain way, it can crush their confident explorations and may put them off the endeavour.

John Holt describes several young children who challenged his stereotypes of learning. He noted that nobody really understands how a child learns to read, but that they reach a point where a lot of new words can be deduced from context, their understanding of phonics (a bit more on that later!) and general recognition. He also describes some children who loved to 'read' even though they were either remembering the story, or making bits of it up from the pictures, but were adamant that they were 'reading'; this type of behaviour is positive, and should not be discouraged. One of my sons is currently doing this a lot, and is becoming very confident and pleased with his reading; it would not be right to tell him that he is not doing it correctly, as this will become clear to him in the fullness of time. For now, he is exploring in his own way the relationship between the black squiggles on the page, and the words he hears.

Why testing and questioning may be counter-productive

He cautions against frequently checking up on and ‘testing’ the child’s comprehension. Several key educationalists are quoted in their observations that children may be insulted by both the basic material they are expected to read, and the questions they are asked. 

Children may answer questions incorrectly for several reasons. One may be ignorance of the subject matter. Or it may be that they feel the question cannot be so straightforward, and so do not trust their initial hunches. Others become anxious when feeling they are being tested, so give an incorrect answer; all of this may result in loss of confidence. This undermines the belief that children can be trusted to learn. One can easily see that in a classroom type setting, there is little option; large chunks of a curriculum must be covered, and there need be some way to determine whether the children are meeting the targets and jumping the hurdles; however, this approach can be counterproductive. I found this interesting, as my middle son will often give an incorrect answer when interrogated, when we know perfectly well that he does know the correct response. I wonder whether by asking too many questions, we are forcing him into such a category.

Motivation is key. What are we trying to achieve?

An important point is the child’s motivation. Are reading and writing simply skills which must be acquired, or are they invaluable tools which enable communication with others in the world? There is a vast gulf of difference between the two. 

Reading should be a fun process for everybody involved. It is the transfer of information; it is not merely an end in itself. ‘Even children who like being read aloud to don’t like it when the parents don’t like it’. ‘There’s no reason to feel that we must always read aloud to little children from ‘easy’ books that they can ‘understand’. If we are reading something we like, with great expression and pleasure, a child may well like it... After all, children like hearing adults talk, even though they can’t understand much or all of it.’

‘When they learn in their own way and for their own reasons, children learn so much more rapidly and effectively than we could possibly teach them... we can afford to throw away our curricula and timetables, and set them free, at least most of the time, to learn on their own’ . Interestingly, in the 1983 edition, with another 16 years of educational experience behind him, Holt reflects, ‘I would now say, ‘all of the time’. Children do not need to be made to learn, told what to learn, or shown how. If we give them access to enough of the world, including our own lives and work in that world, they will see clearly enough what things are truly important to us and to others, and they will make for themselves a better path into that world than we could make for them’.

Concerns about phonic-based approaches

And this is one reason why some of the modern phonics approaches are not helpful; rather than consisting of engaging stories with rich, challenging vocabulary, these texts tend to include repetitive sounds and syllables, and often a storyline which is unexciting, unrealistic and which does not capture the imagination of the child. It is interesting to note that Holt wrote in 1967, before phonics had become such a big thing in primary education. However it is clear that he could see a worrying trend and I wonder what on earth he would have made of some of the materials in existence today. I hear echoes of Charlotte Mason, as she describes ‘twaddle’ and ‘stultefying’ materials, again, many years ago.

‘If, as is more and more true of school reading books, there is no meaning in the text, just a few easy words repeated in almost nonsensical ways over and over again, or if, as is also too often true, whatever meaning there is in the text seems uninteresting, unreal, and false, children will either refuse to read the text at all or, by changing words in it, will ‘correct’ it to make it more interesting and true.’

I’ve had my own concerns about phonics for some time, but it helps to read some of these clearly articulated by one who has studied early childhood education in depth. A valuable quotation is that ‘children who read well certainly know a lot of ‘phonics’, but they have probably learned at least as much phonics from words as they have learned words from phonics. No one taught me that the letters PH say the sounds ‘fff’. I figured it out, probably from hard words like ‘photograph’ and ‘telephone’.

Challenges with strict curricula and inflexible timetables

Another observation is that children are able to recognise their own mistakes, and going back to their basic principles, can often correct these; however this process takes time (and a variable time in different children) and so in a classroom type setting, there may be insufficient time and space to allow this process to occur. ‘If a child cannot correct his mistake immediately, someone else will correct it for him’. 

‘One of the most important things teachers can do for any learner is to make the learner less and less dependent on them’.

‘Many children learn to read like Scout Finch, heroine of Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. She learned by sitting in her father’s lap while he read to her aloud, following with her eyes the words as he read them. After a while she found she knew a lot of them and from what she knew, had enough information or intuition about phonics so that she could start figuring out words for herself’.

The observations are often very simple and commonsense; Holt does remark upon the culture of mainstream education, whereby it is assumed that the school system and teachers are right, and that we should not question what goes on within educational establishments. However, taking a simple step backwards and looking at the bigger picture, looking at how our own children learn, we see a voice of reason standing out against the prevailing trends of society. And to re-iterate, this book was initially written nearly 50 years ago. I do wonder what Hold would have made of today’s rigid curricula, heavy use of simplified techniques including phonics, and the frequent requirement to undergo testing, even at primary school level. It is as though all of his wisdom has been overlooked by the mainstream educators, and as the author points out, possibly correctly, the wellbeing of each individual child is not the primary motivating factor as regards political decisions relating to education. But I will not delve into politics here!

‘If from the start they could think of writing as a way of saying something, and reading as a way of knowing what others are saying, they would read and write with much more interest and excitement’.

And in terms of curricula, of anxiety about the attainment of specific milestones at set times, he first illustrates several examples of children who appeared to be ‘late’ in attaining a certain stage, but in fact later excelled, but also remarks that ‘we act as if children were railroad trains running on a schedule’. They learn in fits and starts. And when there is a real interest and desire, much can be accomplished quickly; the converse also being true.

In summary, through reading this section of John Holt’s book, I am both encouraged and challenged as I consider how we are teaching reading to our sons. 

Things that we will continue:

·         1) Reading out loud to them, often, using books they have chosen

·         2) Reading the ‘adult’ Bible rather than a simplified version (both linguistically and spiritually, I see important reasons not to go for a simplified or potentially diluted version)

·         3) Regular visits to the library

·         4) Starting some stories which do not have pictures

Things that I may change/ work on:

·         1) Give a little more time for the children to read ‘by themselves’; as they concentrate on the words of a familiar storybook, they may well be working out the words and systems for themselves

·         2) Reading some of my favourite childhood stories; immediately Tolkien springs to mind (I remember being mocked by my schoolmates for reading Lord of the Rings when I was seven, but as John Holt argues, there is no need to put literature into age brackets)

·         3) Trying to ask fewer testing type questions and give them a little more space to learn by themselves

·         4) Not comparing to others! I’ve linked to some helpful blog posts about this issue, but it is a temptation!

A typical day (housework??)

Recently, I described a typical day in our home as we home educate our boys aged 4, 3 and 18 months. Then afterwards I wondered whether I really answered some of the questions you might have in mind. Reading blogs, and talking to friends, one question that comes up is 'when do you find time for housework?'

It makes me smile to think I am writing a blog post on housework. If you know me, you will know that my home is often quite 'lived in'. I remember once somebody telling me that I encouraged them because we 'don't wait until our home is perfect before showing hospitality'. That's one of those compliments that can be taken both ways! But in seriousness, our home is always open and we always have plenty of food, drink, a listening ear and a place to sleep. What else is necessary?

I think we need to beware our motives. If I had a choice, I would prefer my house to be very tidy. I'd like my books and music to be arranged by category, and within each category, alphabetically. I would have everything neatly labelled and arranged, and my kitchen would be spotless. I would probably not have people over very often, and I would not do anything too experimental in the kitchen. Things would be tidy, but I would not really be living. I would be putting the appearance and order of my home before its real purpose. What is the main reason that you want a tidy and clean home?

Yes, there is a basic standard. You do not want chaos whereby you cannot function, or where significant delays occur as you locate things that you need. You want standards of cleanliness which are safe! You do not want guests to feel uncomfortable or to have nowhere to sit. You do not want your home to be characterised by chaotic disorder, to the point whereby you cannot offer hospitality or refreshment to those who need it. But is it really necessary for things to be spotless, to be perfect?

You can involve the children. Even my 18 month old will get plastic bowls out of the cupboard and put them on the dining room table each morning. My 3 year old loves to sweep up. My 4 year old needs a bit of encouragement, but loves to help hang the washing outside, counting the pegs and passing me things. They all know that one book must be put back on the shelf before another one can be got down, that one toy should be put away before the next one is got out. They have also learnt that a little time spent tidying up after one task in fact allows a greater range of options as to what to do next. I find it delightful to see how much they want to be helpful and want to be involved in the life of the home; I wonder how much of this attitude (or indeed the converse) is taught? For example, if I convey that helping in the home is important, helpful and very much part of family life, then of course the children will want to be involved; by contrast, should I grumble and groan about the tasks as though they are dull and burdensome, then my children may well catch that atttitude too.

The boys love cooking. I happen to have an extremely adventurous husband, and the boys know the basic principles of how to make their own bread, cheese and chutneys as well as more 'conventional' cooking. Yes, it makes a bit of mess. Yes, sometimes when they crack eggs, everything ends up in the wrong place. Flour gets on the floor, hands get sticky, aprons need washing. But its both educational and also a valuable life skill. Already, the older two can help as much as they hinder, and the whole experience is so much more satisfying than having a perfectly tidy worktop and no mess! Not so long ago, I was visiting a friend who spent a long time in the kitchen making cakes whilst her children played restlessly elsewhere. I could not understand why the children weren't in the kitchen too; but it does seem that there can be an attitude that either children will not be interested in this type of thing, or that perhaps it generates too much additional work and effort to involve them. Surely one of the delights of home education is that it encompasses the whole of life, and the manifold lessons that are encountered therein!

In terms of schedule, we probably do the housework in 10-15 minute sections throughout the day. After breakfast, they will help me clear the table, and then maybe read books by themselves for another 5 minutes whilst I finish off. In between focussed tasks such as stories, art, music or writing, we will do a task (such as hoovering or hanging the washing). And so it becomes part of the day, without this looming question of, 'When can I do my housework?'.

I have to remind myself of what is important. People are. Serving God is. Especially when I am tired, or when I have been to visit somebody who has a really beautiful home, I am tempted to covet. I am tempted to think, 'If only I had this or that - usually space, tidiness, order...' But I take my eyes of the path God has given our family. When I look back over the past few years, I remember the highlights - long walks, laughter, new discoveries, first steps, milestones, cuddles, conversation, journeys, experiences. I do not remember for a moment whether or not my kitchen was tidy when such and such a thing happened! If I were to look back wistfully, it would be that I had not made the most of these abundant times of the children's lives; I would not for a second look back and wish I had chosen to spend more time keeping my home immaculate.

My tips on housework and homeschooling are therefore thus:

1) Keep it to the minimum.
2) Keep your priorities; pray that God shows you what is the best use of time
3) Involve the children, and embrace the lessons that present themselves
4) Don't make your home an idol
5) Don't compare yourself to others
6) Live for today

A typical day

About a year ago, I read quite a number of home education blogs discussing schedule/ routine/ typical days etc. Some of them were helpful, but others (which probably intended to encourage) were frankly discouraging to me as they showed photos of beautifully coiffed women with at least half a dozen smiling children discussing how they rise before the family at 04:15 in order to spend time with God before starting preparing dinner at 05:27, and then doing the first load of laundry before the children start to wake at 06:30. (I think you may have read blogs like that!).

But in fact, one of the beauties of home education is that you can fit your schedule around your strengths, the needs of your family, the place where you are living, the ages of your children, any unusual circumstances etc. We do well to remember the dangers of unfavourably comparing ourselves with others. Nobody else has the same family as you do. Nobody else has the same strengths and weaknesses. It is to you that God has entrusted your children, to raise in the way you believe to be right and best. I've written more on this in the linked posts.

Even if you don't realise it, you will have some form of schedule. I notice it most when my schedule gets interrupted! On the days when I am home with the children, it will be a bit like this:

05:30 Middle boy wakes for the toilet. We persuade him it is 'still the middle of the night' and pray that this manoevre is successful. It works about half the time, and the other half, he gets up every 20 minutes thereafter until his brothers wake. (When we were in West Africa, I used to just get up and use this hour or so as time before the Lord. It was always worth it, as I read the Bible and prayed whilst the fresh beauty of the African dawn unfolded; somehow this is not a habit or routine I have managed to continue in the UK. Even writing this challenges me that I should try again!)

07:00 Get the boys up and dressed

07:15 Breakfast. Always always a variation on porridge

07:30 Bible. Always a Psalm, sometimes another story at the boys' request. Singing. Prayer.

07:45 Baby (18 months old) goes back to bed for about an hour and a half

08:00 'Table time' - painting/ drawing/ writing/ 'educational' games (the ones which are tricky with a toddler)

09:30 Baby gets up, we get ready to go out

09:45 Morning adventure. Often a 2-3 hour walk in a couple of parks, exploring nature, studying wildlife, foraging, climbing, running and jumping, maybe having a picnic lunch. Sometimes a trip into town, to the museum, art gallery, docks. Occasionally we do more home based activities - cooking, craft etc, but we feel a need to be outside for at least an hour.

12:30 Home. Snack (often cheese on toast)

13:00 Nap. May last between 1-2 hours. 4, 3 and 1 year old all sleep. Mummy does some work.

14:30 Lunch

15:00 Afternoon adventure. If we haven't walked much, we will do that now. Sometimes see a friend (but a tricky time for those with school age children). Sometimes cooking/ baking. Reading books. Singing

18:00 Dinner

18:30 Bath (if having it)

19:00 Bible (we alternate a book of the old and the new testament), singing, prayers, bed

(19:00-20:00 Sometimes bedtime antics. Currently a tricky spell!)

19:30 - 21:30 Parents do some work

There will be variations in what we actually do, but the basic structure is there. The variable bits are what we do during the morning and afternoon - and that's where I try to keep an eye on things, making sure we cover a broad curriculum, that we do a wide range of different things, and that we spend enough time with others too.

'Normal'. What is 'normal'?

Recently we spent time with friends who are missionaries in the area of south eastern Africa where we previously lived. They live and work in a remote village, in a very tough area spiritually and have a real passion to see Christ glorified. Their four children are home educated, initially perhaps because there were few other options available in that part of the world, but now also because the family see the huge advantages in this style of education.

It was a very encouraging weekend. So many times, my husband remarked that it was wonderful to be with 'normal' people. And this led me to reflect on what 'normal' might happen to mean!

Lately, I've posted a few times about living as strangers and pilgrims in this world, whilst longing for our true eternal home which is in heaven with God. I've felt lonely, at times isolated and often misunderstood. There have been times when I have yearned for some form of comfort or security in this present world, whilst at the same time I've known that this is a futile dream, a chasing after the wind, something of little eternal value. But this last week, spending time with this other family, brought encouragement, refreshment and a renewed challenge. We are not of this world.

The children played beautifully together. Our boys (aged 4 and 3) taught the others about horse chestnuts and hazelnuts, and the different stages in the life of these seeds. Their son (aged 8) taught ours about his Egyptian ducks, the chickens he plans to raise as pets (before perhaps eating them), and other things to do with village life. Together, they conspired to chase the mallard ducks which were feeding nearby, with a desire to skewer them and then roast them on the barbecue (or should I say braii?), and make the livers into pate. And they also fell in the mud. To me, this reflects a 'real' childhood, a freedom, an imagination and an understanding of the world that surrounds us.

Whilst the children played, the adults talked about how life had been over the past three years (since we moved back to the UK). We reflected on how life is full of challenges, sometimes difficult and painful trials and that the Bible makes it clear that these times will come. Yet God does not change, and His faithfulness is certain. We talked of our desires for our children, and our priorities in raising our families. And it felt so 'normal'.

Does finding others who live their lives with a similar purpose and direction mean that what you are doing must be right? No, not necessarily. Does seeing other children being raised with freedom and a desire to understand the world that God has created mean that your educational principles are sound? Again, perhaps, perhaps not. Does it matter whether you feel alone or supported? It shouldn't. I think we all need to beware not to base our security on the opinions of others. But from time to time, God does provide us with encouragement. Indeed, He created us to live in community and to enjoy the special blessings of 'fellowship' (a word which is may become cliched but refers to a really precious relationsip with one another). In the letter to the Hebrews, we are encouraged to 'consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds'. This past weekend was such a time to be encouraged, and I thank God for that.

Run with perseverence

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. John 15:19

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 1 John 2:15

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1

As Christians, we are called out from this world. We are called to be holy. We are called to live as 'pilgrims', or 'strangers', or as the King James Version would put it, 'aliens' in this world. We will be different, and there are times when this will not be easy. There will be times when you face challenges, sometimes even opposition or conflict, because of the choices you make as you try to live your life in a God-honouring way. And it seems to me that decisions regarding how we raise our children can seem like a minefield.

I could write about discouragement here. I could describe challenging conversations with friends and relatives. I could discuss misunderstanding from within the church, where one would expect to have a similar worldview to the majority. But chances are, if you home educate your children, you know enough of these type of things. It is better not to think too much about the specifics, to try and anaylse conversations or seek to change the opinion of those who are opposed. I find this tiring, discouraging and often futile.

Instead, I'd encourage you to look up.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

Men and women of faith have walked before us. Some we know of, through the Bible, or biographies. Others faithfully lived and died in obscurity. But none was obscure to God, and we are encouraged to remember those who walked before us and to run with perseverence. Jesus endured the greatest hardship of all - how can I complain I feel misunderstood when I think of what He went through? How can I complain I feel isolated when I think of his anguish on the cross, 'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?'. And the writer to the Hebrews knew we would face opposition, discouragement, doubt and despondency. Look up. Look to Jesus. 

Several analogies compare our faith to training for and competing in a sporting event.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 1 Corinthians 9:25

I used to run for my city, and at one point was training more than once per day. I remember several things well:

1) It was tough. At times it was painful. But I knew it was necessary to be able to win
2) It required discipline. I didn't always want to train!
3) It required sacrifice. I wouldn't participate in as many social activities because of training
4) It was lonely. Running mile after mile.
5) People did not understand. They thought I was mad!
6) Focus was necessary. Keep the goal in sight. The race. The finish line
7) I could not get distracted
8) The reward was worth the pain. At least, that was how it seemed then

How much more important it is to exercise spiritual discipline, and to keep focussed. There are times when it is difficult, painful, lonely, exhausting. There are times when there are temptations to look elsewhere, to take it easy, to doubt one's previous convictions. There are times when it is easy to crave comfort and understanding in this world.

Am I talking about home education here, or about the Christian walk in general? Both really. For us, as for many Christian families, the decision to home educate arises out of our convictions regarding how to raise our families and live our lives in accordance with what the Bible teaches. And so, often when people comment or criticise our choices, they are commenting on our faith. The world doesn't mind so much when faith is a 'private' matter, one which doesn't have implications for how you live. It doesn't mind when you look the same as them on the outside, when you have the same goals and motivations, the same concerns and frustrations. With our children, as we seek to honour God, there will be times when the world hates us.

I'm not going to write much more tonight, other than to encourage you. If you can relate to what I am writing, then take heart. Seek comfort and rest in the One who can truly comfort your soul. 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.Matthew 11:28-30

PS: Just read an encouraging quote from Heidi St John on a similar topic:

Parenthood is demanding. It’s iron-man-marathon building, this thing we’re doing.  This thing that carries with it the weight of eternity and the promise of a new generation is worth every ounce of time we put into it. Raising children is a privilege denied to many.  Don’t take it for granted.

Short, diverse lessons

I was talking with a friend this week about short lessons. It's funny, because we all have been influenced by the style of education to which we were exposed as children. It sometimes seems wrong to spend just so much time having fun, whilst learning, when you know that so many other children of similar ages are having to spend many hours per day in a classroom or group environment. But the truth is, short lessons are effective, enjoyable and enough! Charlotte Mason was an educationalist who believed that lessons should be kept short and to the point. Not only are they sufficient because you can focus entirely on the child or small group of children that you are home educating, but also, you teach the child the discipline of full concentration and attention, rather than day-dreaming and dawdling.

The blog post I referred to above concludes with the blogger's examples of her short-lessons that take place during the day. My list might look like this:

1) Bible (10 minutes)
2) Singing/ prayer (5 minutes)
3) Reading (20 minutes)
4) Drawing/ painting (20 minutes)
5) Writing letters/ letter forms (5 minutes)
6) A game such as snap or a jigsaw (10-15 minutes)
7) Music (putting on a CD and getting out our box of instruments) (20 minutes)
8) Watering the garden (10 minutes)
9) Baking/ cooking (15 minutes)

And in between these, allowing time to set up/ tidy up and for a short break - free play, with cars/ toys/ looking at picture books/ playing in the garden etc

Then... nature studies in the park - many 1 minute lessons amongst two hours of walking/ playing/ climbing. Physical education - races/climbing/ jumping/ hopping etc - many short lessons whilst out and about. Several afternoons per week we will do some kind of 'field trip' - a National Trust property, a museum or art gallery, maybe the library or even a shopping expedition. All of these bring many of their own lessons too.

When you think about your daily routine, you probably see many different 'lessons' that fall into short time-spans, so natural within the course of your day that you barely consider them lessons at all. That is another joy of home education, that learning becomes a life-long adventure, and doesn't have a clear beginning and end. Most days I try to keep a short note of our day, perhaps a little like the one above. I do this for several reasons:

1) A record for me of what we have done
2) A type of handover - my husband and I both work part-time and home educate part-time, so it is good to know what the other half has done
3) Enough of a record that I can show evidence that I am appropriately educating our children should anybody ever ask
4) For my own reassurance; that we are indeed providing a diverse and stimulating education, and are not neglecting any of the key areas

Take some time and reflect on what you are doing, and I think you will be surprised and encouraged at just how much can be covered in a short period of time when we choose to educate our children at home!